Songs About My Crushes

I Know I'm Not The Only One

To: Darren (The guy who broke my heart for the first time and made me mature)

From: Me (The girl who broke yours to and did more damage to you)

I'm sorry Darren,

I didn't mean to break your heart, if I did, or make you insecure. It wasn't really my fault, I didn't know how to deal having my crush liking me back. It was suppose to reamin a crush, not any further. I didn't expect my crush to turn into something more.

I was immature, no one told me about love or how to deal with it. I was naive and also selfish. I was stupid and not as knowledgeable as I am now. I really regret ignoring you and making your life at school bad for you.

You broke my heart. You are the first crush who liked me back and also the first to break my heart. What was I suppose to do then? I didn't know anything and I couldn't go up to my mom or anyone else. My mom would kill me then and everyone else would be, "You are too young to have crushes, concentrate on studying." or "You are too young to know anything."

If someone told me, I would've handled the sitution better. I guess that you taught me how to handle it and the consequences that come from my actions. I learnt a lot from what happened between us. Man, I was one crazy bitch when I was young. No wonder not many people really liked me.

But I've changed now. I really am a different person. I understand more and am mature at a young age. I've apologized to you many times but you've never answered. I deserved it but I have a good explanation why.

Do you have a good explanation why you lied to me? Or why you broke my heart? You don't. You weren't immature like me. Something happened in your previous school and you didn't really tell me. Along with that, you've never told me why you really quit wushu. I know you're really talented.

I told you everything and you were like those perfect understanding boyfriends, although you weren't my boyfriend. You knew what to say and understood how I felt. No one could ask for a better guy than you. But you lied and wasn't straight with me.

So this song by Sam Smith is for you. Actually how I felt. I know that this song is about a husband who cheated on his wife and you didn't 'cheat' with me. If you did, you aren't guilty. You and I weren't in a relationship as I recall you saying.

So here's part of the song which is from me to you.

"You and me, we made a vow

For better or for worse

I can't believe you let me down

But the proof's in the way it hurts

For months on end I've had my doubts

Denying every tear

I wish this would be over now

But I know that I still need you here

[Chorus:]

You say I'm crazy

'Cause you don't think I know what you've done

But when you call me baby

I know I'm not the only one

You've been so unavailable

Now sadly I know why

Your heart is unobtainable

Even though Lord knows you kept mine

I have loved you for many years

Maybe I am just not enough

You've made me realize my deepest fear

By lying and tearing us up"