Any Way the Wind Blows

10

"What do you think he's like?" Harry asked as I laid down next to him in his bed.

Harry and I are having a sleepover in his trailer so we can clean up for his inspection for this coming Monday afternoon. Then after, we are leaving straight to Niall's.

"What do you think who is like?"

"My dad."

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Do you think he has long curly hair like mine?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Do you think he has green eyes?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think he is tall?"

"I don't know."

"Louis." he laughed and lightly punched my arm.

"What?"

"You aren't helping you jerk."

"Well, I really don't know what he's like Harry."

"I know. I'm just trying to imagine him. He must be handsome. I mean, look at me."

I laughed.

"Yeah Harry, handsome."

"Hey, shut up you ass." Harry laughed.

After a moment of silence, Harry said, "I think I want to tell you about my mum."

"Really? It sounded like a pretty tough subject the other day."

"It is a tough subject, but I trust you."

"Really? We've only been friends for about three weeks."

"Don't ruin this moment Louis."

"You're right. I'm sorry. So, tell me about Anne."

"Well, I told you that she's always been mentally ill."

"Yeah."

"I just didn't tell you how mentally ill."

I stayed silent.

"She has bipolar disorder. To most, they think it's some type of joke. Whoever has it just gets mood swings. Well, that's not it at all. Someone who has the disorder goes through high highs and very dark lows. One moment they can be so full of energy they are willing to jump off the top of a roof because they think they can fly, and within the next couple of days, the can be so fucking depressed, that they are willing to end their life right in front of your fucking eyes." he spoke and I could tell he was getting a little choked up. I was surprised he was telling me all of this.

"Did your mom try to end her life in front of you Harry?"

"A few times, yeah."

"Fuck. I'm sorry Harry."

"It's not your fault."

"I feel sorry for you about the situation."

"Thank you."

I was silent again.

"So, mum's been like that since I can remember. I love her though. She's my mum. She took care of me all these years. How can I not love her, ya know?"

I nodded.

"After Robin died though, fuck, it was over. I don't think she'll ever be happy again. She's been in a depressive state for over a year now. She's so fucking mean now Louis. I still want to call her every night to hear her voice, but the moment I say one wrong thing, she goes on rants and makes me feel like shit. I don't want to feel like shit when I talk to her. I don't want her to push me out of her life. What if I don't find my birth family? What if the only mum I ever knew shuts me out? Then I'd really be a sad little orphan boy that everyone's always teased me about since I was little. I don't want to be that boy."

"And you won't Harry. I won't let that happen to you. If Niall can't help us tomorrow, I'll let my mom adopt you."

"How sweet." Harry laughed.

"I mean it. I don't want you to ever feel alone Harry. I know I've been mean to you the last month since you've been here, but I won't be mean anymore. I was only doing that because I was afraid that if you'd stand up to me, everyone else would think it's okay too."

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?"

"Why do you want everyone to fear you?"

I shrugged.

"There has to be a reason Louis."

"I don't want anyone to leave me." I confessed after a moment of silence.

"What?"

"My mom has had lots of different husbands and kids with all of them. That's why I have so many siblings. Every time she marries, she has a few kids, and then they divorce. It's been like that for a while. Everyone is my half sibling. Actually, I don't even know who my real dad is either." I laughed.

"Join the club." Harry smiled.

"But yeah... I'm just use to people leaving. I don't want anymore people leaving. I hate it. I grow so attached so fast. That's why Zayn is my only friend. He had been by my side since kindergarten."

"Well, if you are worried about me leaving, I won't." Harry spoke softly. "I like you Louis. You're a neat kid, ya know?"

"I'm a 'neat kid' Harry?" I laughed.

"For sure." he nodded. "Plus, you are the only reason I might be able to find out where I come from."

"Well, let's get some sleep then Harry. We need to be ready for tomorrow."

"Alright. Goodnight Louis."

"Goodnight Harry."

After a moment I said, "Why did you decided to tell me about your mom?"

"I don't know why, but I feel like I can trust you with my life. I feel a weird connection to you. It just seemed easy to open up to you is all. I wanted to open up to you."

"Is it weird that I feel the same way? The moment I saw you, I just new that there was something different about you. I could almost see myself in you. That's another reason I was mean to you. I've never felt that connected to someone before. I definitely didn't want you in my life because I couldn't risk loosing someone so fascinating to me."

"And now look, after only three weeks of hanging out, we are sharing our life secrets to one another."

"I know..."

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Please like and comment :) ~Ash