Cut To Pieces [Complete]

Heart

"Do you love me, Allie?" Ashton announced as we closed the door of the dressing room, catching me off guard. 

"Of course I love you. What kind of question is that?" I scoffed, trying to hide my disomfort. "You're one of my best friends." 

"No." Ashton shook his head and sat on top of one of the dressing room counters. "In what way, Allie? How do you love me?" I gaped at Ashton, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was on the same page as me. Had it honestly been that obvious that something was wrong? "How do you love me Allie? Do you love me like I love you? Or not?" I slowly shut my open mouth and started to pick at my nails. 

"Ashy..." I trailed, not knowing how to put it into decent words. 

"That's what I thought." Ashton sighed as I slid onto the couch I had been sitting on with Harry and Louis earlier. "It's Michael, isn't it?" This wasn't how I had expected this to go down at all. I mean, I had a speech prepared for this and now Ashton was leading the conversation I was completley lost for words. "I mean you two are practically soul mates, I shouldn't have ever thought I could get in the way of that. On top of that I'm an asshole because I knew how Michael felt about you. But I couldn't just let you slide past, you know?" Ashton sighed, joining me on the couch and pulling his feet up beside him, leaning on the arm. "I knew that if it came to choosing between us you would choose Michael, so I jumped in first. I wanted you, and the only way I could think of getting you was by asking you before Michael did." I sat staring at Ashton wide eyed as he took the whole situation much better than I expected. "And I've been waiting for this. I mean, I'm not stupid. I've been waiting for you to realise that it's really you and Michael that should be together and I hate that. I hate the fact that I love you with everything that I have but I can't have you because Michael is the one who holds your heart, not me. You know? I wanted to be the one who held your heart. the one who got your undivided love, but that can never be me. And I knew that from the start. I just jumped in, choosing to be ignorant about the inevitable future." Ashton turned from fixing his gaze on the wall in fron tof him and examined every inch of me with his hazel eyes. Has it been anyone else, I probably would have felt extremely uncomfortable in this situation, but with Ashton, it was like he was searching for something. Like he was trying to find some inch of me that could possibly love him as much as he loved me. I had no doubt that somewhere there was a piece of me like that, and if Michael Clifford didn't exist in this world, Ashton and I would be perfect. But that was exactly it, Michael existed and I was meant for him and no one else. 

"Michael is-" 

"Who you're meant to be with." Ashton cut me off by putting a hand gently on my knee. "I get it. I was prepared like three days ago for this conversation. I've just been waiting for it to finally happen."

"You're still my best friend, Ash." I grabbed onto his hand, scared that if I didn't he would stand up and run off. "I do love you, just not the way you want me to. And I do love Michael. I didn't think of it until he told me he loved me. Honestly, I went into this relationship with you fully prepared to be with you, but when Michael told me something changed. It felt wrong. And I'm so sorry for putting you through this." Ashton smiled gently but I could see the hurt hidden in his eyes. He wasn't taking the reality of this as well as I thought he would. "I still love you as my best friend and I never want to be without you. Its just, I love Michael." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, I could feel the tears at the back of my throat and I could see them already glistening in the corner of Ashton's eyes. "I never tried to hurt you, Ashton." 

"I know." He sighed, pulling me against his chest for a hug. It felt right being with him like this, just as friends. "It's okay, really. I should have thought about it before I tried to take you away from Michael. You two are a force to be reckoned with and I feel terrible that I tried to come between you. Son't get me wrong, this hurts like shit because I honestly do love you, Allie, with all my heart, but it pains me to see you pretending to be happy and to watch Michael fawn over you when I know that you should really be with him."

"You weren't supposed to act like this!" I sobbed, the tears flowing freely now, more from guilt than from sadness. "You were mean to yell and be angry and say I brok your heart! No t be all supportive and loving. I wasn't prepared for this." I half laughed, half cried into the front of Ashton's shirt, leaving wet patches from where my tears had soaked through the fabric. 

"I'm sorry for being supportive." Ash laughed, stroking my hair. "I am broken hearted, Allie. I truley am, but I also love both you and Michael enough to know that it was selfish of me to ever think that I could take you away from him. I still love you, and I probably will for a very long time, but for now you can be my little English Love Affair." I scoffed at his shamless self-promotion and gave him a small whack on the chest. 

"You're an idiot." I groaned and gripped onto Ashton a little bit tighter. 

"Yeah, I am." Ashton giggled, planting a chaste kiss into my hair. 

"I love you, thank you for understanding." I smiled up at Ashton who nodded slowly and shot me a wink. 

"I wouldn't dream of trying to keep you two apart, that would be hell." I shook my head as I pulled away from Ashton and clambered to my feet. I extended a hand to Ashton and let him use me a lift to his feet. "Let's go see your one true love shall we?" He joked, nudging me in the ribs and leading me out of the dressing room. 

"I love you." I laughed and wrapped my arm around Ashton's waist as we exited the room. 

"Yeah, I know."

--

We stood outside Michael and I's hotel room and Ashton gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I slid my key into the slot and oushed the door open, revealing one Michael Clifford glued to the screen of his laptop playing League of Legends. 

"Pentakill!" He screamed as the door closed behind Ashton and I and he gave us a small wave without looking away from his game as we made our way towards my bed. Ashton perched on my bed as I crawled behind Michael and leaned over his shoulders to get a better look at the screen. 

"Careful, Teemo shrooms." I hinted as I carefully watched the screen and analysed for any hazards. "Cho Gath! Use your ult!" I screamed as Michael desperatley hit the keyboard and mouse in order to kill the opposing champion. 

"Oh my god, we're taking Nexus." Michael whispered excitedly as he hurried his champion towards the enemy base where the rest of his team was. "Demacia!" He screamed as he landed one of the final blows to the enemy nexus. "Victory!" He threw his laptop off his lap and swiveled around to pull me in for a hug. I pressed my lips to his and he froze, pulling away to gape at Ashton. "Dude, I am so sorry." Ashton simply shrugged and relayed the same thing to Michael he had told me, that he couldn't get in the way of it anymore. Michael truned back to me and beamed, grasping my face in his hands and forcing our lips together. 

"Okay, dude, just cause I'm taking this well doesn't mean you have to rub it in." Ashton grumbled and I quickly scrambled off Michael while Michael mumbled a quick apology. Ashton rolled his eyes and gave us both a hug goodbye before excusing himself and giggling his way out of the hotel room. The moment the door shut behing him I was being dragged on top of a now lying Michael and had kissed trailing down my neck. 

"I love you." Michael mumbled as his lips pressed softly against my skin. 

"I love you too." I confirmed, moaning lightly at his touch. "You have my heart."