Love

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I groaned as Michael glared at where I sat on Ashton's lap from across the room.

"What?" Ashton complained as I buried my face in his shoulder before scrambling off him. "Come back." I shook my head as he pouted and patted the space on his lap I had just left.

"No, Ash." I snapped and his eyebrows crunched at the unintentional coldness of my reply. I quickly grabbed his hand to make up for it. "I just feel bad for Michael." I realised just how odd my words would have sounded to the blissfully oblivious Ashton and quickly developed a story. "I mean he has to sit and watch his two best friends cuddle and all that shit. It's weird for him." I whispered, running my thumb over Ashton's knuckles, still aware of Michaels eyes on us.

"I don't see why he even cares." Ash huffed, running a hand through his ever growing fringe and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Because I was his best friend and I ran off with his other best friend. It's like his best friend dating his brother, Ashton. There's an issue with that." I sighed and tried to pull my hand away but Ashton only gripped it tighter.

"No there's not." Ashton deadpanned, covering our hands with his other, preventing me from moving any further away from him. "We're not doing anything wrong." I groaned and yanked my hand out from Ashton's, my frustration with my difficulty to chose between the boys coming out in unjustified anger.

"Yes we are! I utterly betrayed him!" I cried a little bit louder than I should have. "I left him for you!" Ashton's eyes widened and I felt the other three boys turn to peer over at the growing noise in the corner of the rehearsal room. I watch the doubt build in Ashton's eyes and I knew he was on to something. At this point, I was caring less and less. "I built up a relationship with Mikey and he was my best friend and I came on this tour to be with him, not to date you." I couldn't figure out why this was making my so upset. I swatted at the tears threatening in the corners of my eyes. "I came to America to be with Michael and to spend time with him and I keep spending all my time with you!" I jumped up off the seat an started to pace in frustrated circles, pulling at my hair and scratching at my forearm, a bad habit of mine when I was frustrated.

"Allie, baby, sit down." Ashton's voice was the opposite to his facials, calm and steady. When on the outside, he looked like he was about to break. His forehead was crunched and hi eyes were glimmering with a sadness I knew was all my fault.

"Don't 'baby' me." My voice cracked and the fact that my emotions were getting the best of me was bothering me to no end. "I'm done with the 'baby' and the nick names. My name is Allie." I squealed, tears springing up. God, I must have been so tired for me to get this emotional. "My name is Allie and I want Mikey." I sobbed, not able to keep it under control anymore. I looked around desperately and Michael raised an eyebrow at me from across the room. There. That was where I wanted to be, wrapped up in Michaels arms, not being pulled into Ashton's where every moment spent made me feel guilty and only want Michael more.

"Allie..." Ashton whispered, pulling me away from the eye line of the three gaping boys across the large room. "Is there something you're not telling me?" I hesitated for a moment, tempted with the idea that I could end this all here. I could tell Ashton I loved Michael. I could tell him I needed to leave him. I could make myself happy, But then again, I couldn't. In the process of making Michael and I happy by breaking up with Ashton and running to him I would create only more drama and chaos. Calum and Luke would be stuck between Ashton and Michael and I could lose everything I had built up here. The boys would always be each other's priorities and I was simply a extra to their family of four.

"I just don't know what to do." I sobbed and flinched away from Ashton's attempt to pull me into a hug.

"Allie?" His voice was desperate and I could hear him cracking beneath his relatively all surface, this incident was upsetting Ashton just as much as it was upsetting me. I shook my head slowly before spinning on my heel and springing across the hall to where Michael was sitting with a dumbstruck Calum and a very confused Luke.

"Als?" Michael cooed as I folded myself into his arms. "Allie what's the matter?" I couldn't help but grip onto the front of Michaels shirt for dear life and cry into his chest. The moisture instantly soaked into his shirt and I mumbled an apology for ruining his clothes. The fact that Michaels hands were rubbing small soothing circles into my back an his lips pressing soft kisses into my hair was only adding to how upset I was becoming.

"I can't do it." I sobbed, aware of the all the eyes on me. "Can we just go?" I whispered and Michael nodded slowly, kissing the top of my head before pulling me off him and leading me out the room. We walked around the venue in silence for a little while until we found an unused dressing room and slipped inside. The walk had managed to calm me down a little bit and I had stopped crying for the most part. Michael ha spent the whole walk shooting anxious glances at me and his hand never left the small of my back as he guided me through the halls.

"Out with it." Michael ordered as he flopped down on the couch and opened his arms for me to climb into. I slid onto his lap, fitting perfectly against his body.

"I miss you." I sighed, wiping my thumbs under my eyes to get rid of the few stray tears that hadn't dried up yet. Michaels arms snaked around my waist and pulled my back against his chest, his face burying into my hair. "I'm so sick of pretending and it's difficult because I can do it when it's just me and Ashton." I sighed, it felt good to talk about it. "Like when were alone it's like there's no trouble, it's like there's no difficulty. But as soon as I see you or were out in public all I want is you." By now Michael was leaving a trail of kisses over my shoulder and neck while I leaned back against his chest. "When it's just me and Ashton I can see us together, I don't even think about anything else, but as soon as something triggers a thought I you, which is every five minutes, I feel so guilty."

"Do you love Ashton?" Michael whispered calmly against my skin, his breath sending goosebumps across my back and arms.

"No." I was confident in my answer. I didn't love Ashton. I cared for him deeply and loved him as a friend, but it wasn't a romantic love. "I don't love him like that." The room was still and quiet for a moment as Michael took a deep breath and tightened his grip on me.

"Do you love me?"

"With every inch of my being." I replied instantly and for the first time since that night in the hotel, Michael kissed me. He flipped me around in his arms so our chests were pressed together and slammed his lip into mine. "I.. Thought you said..."

"No cheating?" Michael clarified, his lips still against mine. "Fuck it." I let Michael's hand trail over my body and under the hem of my shirt, sending shock waves up my body. "I love you." Michael whispered against my neck, his hand inching further up my torso, lightly brushing against my skin and tracing along the underwire of my bra.

"I love you too." I smiled, my eyes slipping shut once more as Michaels lips found mine again.

(A/N: okay so I wrote this in the car to the airport on my phone so I'm sorry that it's so short and that it's crappy.)

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