My Child

Sensory Overload

~Equius POV~

The next few weeks go smoothly. We've made it through another town. Psiioniic has been teaching me how to control my powers, which have been developing faster than I anticipated. I can now move things without touching them and turn people I'm touching invisible along with me. Nepeta and Psiioniic are fully healed, though Psiioniic's scars are far more visible than Nepeta's. I'm almost fully healed, too. My knee still bothers me sometimes.

The whole time she's been here, Nepeta has been acting strange around Psiioniic. She's drawing in her sketchbook when she looks up and sees him walking two feet to her right. Instead of just going back to her drawing, she squeaks and runs to the other side of me.

"Is she okay?" Psiioniic asks me. I just shrug, so he looks around me at her and asks again, "Are you okay? You've been acting weird around me since you got here."

She just looks up at him, sympathy and sorrow in her green-grey eyes. "What's wrong?" I ask. She just shakes her head. Something is very wrong. She's never this quiet, at least not with me. I can't believe I'm doing this. I sigh, saying, "CT asks AC, 'What's wrong?'" I get a weird look from Psiioniic and Signless, and a giggle from Disciple. Dolorosa, smartly, remains silent.

She perks up a little, but not much, and replies, "AC cautiously whispers," she leans closer and starts to whisper, "'I know what happens to him. It's not happy.'"

"CT pushes for more information, 'What do you mean?'"

She takes out her husktop and opens a video file. "AC deploys her trusty husktop and locates a video. AC says, 'TA hacked into HIC's se-purr-ity feed and found this footage of the Helmsman of her flagship, Condescension. TA shared it in one of CG's memos be-fur AA sent AC back in time. Helmsman is still alive in our time, but Helmsman doesn't want to be alive.'"

"Do you understand what she's saying?" Signless asks, soon adding, "I'm completely lost."

I nod, whispering to Nepeta, "Let's not play that video."

Psiioniic asks, "Who is she talking about and what's with the initials and codenames?"

I nervously rub the back of my neck, "The initials are our screen names. 'CT' is 'centaursTesticle', me." Disciple and Psiioniic try to hide their giggles. "Don't laugh, everything else I tried was already taken. Anyways, 'AC' is 'arsenicCatnip', Nepeta. 'TA' is 'twinArmageddons', Sollux." I look over to Psiioniic. "Sollux is your Descendant and the best hacker on our team. 'AA' is 'apocalypseArisen', Aradia. Aradia's the one that brought me and Nepeta back through time. She's also my Kismesis. 'CG' is 'cacinoGeneticist', Karkat. He's Signless' Descendant and our team leader. 'HIC' is 'Her Imperious Condescension', the Empress herself." I look down at the ground. "The Helmsman is you, Psii. Your fate isn't a positive one. I'm sorry."

He looks sad yet strangely understanding. "I don't stay free, do I?"

"After Signless dies, none of you do," I say quietly.

I've talked with everyone else about Signless' fate of an early death. He made it clear that he always knew he wouldn't live a long life and that his preaching would get him killed. I've never told them about their own individual fates.

"What happens to us?" Disciple inquires, slight worry in her voice.

"You get exiled," I say, still staring at the ground. "Executor Darkleer, my Ancestor, somehow manages to convince the Grand Highblood to have mercy on you. I don't know why or how, though. Dolorosa gets sold to Orphaner Dualscar, who then loses her to Mindfang and has her killed. Psiioniic gets drafted into the Imperial Navy and installed as the Helmsman of the Condesce's flagship."

There's only silence after that. At some point, Nepeta put her husktop away and went back to drawing. Signless and Psiioniic eventually wound up holding hands, most likely without noticing. Not much is really happening when a highblood comes running out of a grain field, laughing like he's having the time of his life, and runs right into me.

"Equius!" exclaims Signless as he rushes to my side.

The highblood, whom bares a striking resemblance to Gamzee only larger, is already on his feet. "Watch where you're going!" He even sounds like Gamzee, only with a slightly deeper voice. My eyes go wide when I realize exactly who just knocked me to the ground.

The Grand Highblood.

Gamzee's Ancestor.

I'm shaking. I don't even register Signless pulling me into his arms and asking me if I'm hurt. The ringing in my ears is too loud before it fades to silence, fear too strong. I don't notice when my Ancestor emerges from the field after the Grand Highblood. I don't hear Nepeta calling my name and trying to calm me down. I can only see him and the flashbacks he triggers.

Images, memories, of Gamzee pailing me so hard it hurt flash across my vision. I physically recoil from the memories.

I force myself to look away from the Grand Highblood and find Signless. I'll be safe with him. It's not a difficult task as he's holding me. Slowly, my senses return. I can feel Signless' arms around me. I can hear him, Psiioniic, and Nepeta trying to calm me. I hear my Ancestor trying to convince the Grand Highblood to leave me alone. Just as quiet as it was a second ago, everything is way too loud now. Even Signless whispering that everything is okay is too loud. It's suddenly too bright. The comforting scent of my guardian, too intense. Everything is too much.

I know this feeling, Sensory overload. I haven't had an episode since before my team entered our Session. Before Sollux taught me how to try and block everything out.

Even my own thoughts are too loud.

~Signless POV~

Equius closes his eyes tightly and covers his ears. He's shaking more now than he was a second ago.

"Grand Highblood," the blueblood that looks like an older Equius pleads, "he's scared enough as is. Let's just go." He goes ignored as the highblood begins to stalk closer to us. The blue blood grabs him by the arm and quickly says, "I'll do that thing you like if we leave now." There's a hint of seduction in his voice that catches the Grand Highblood's attention. Just as quickly as they arrived, they're gone.

My attention immediately shifts back to Equius. He's leaning on me completely. "Shh, it's okay, my child," I whisper. "They're gone." He opens his eyes and looks around for a second before whimpering and closing his eyes again. "What's wrong?" I ask. He shakes his head, his hands pressing tighter over his ears. Eyes squeezed shut so tight it looks painful. "Equius, please, talk to me."

Nepeta scoots closer, gently stroking his hair. "I've got him," she whispers, as she pulls him closer to her. He doesn't hesitate to cling to her. "This isn't a panic attack anymore, it's one of his episodes." She's still whispering. "He's dealt with episodes of sensory overload his entire life. This is the first one he's had since we entered our Session." She looks from me to him, playing with his hair. He still has his eyes shut and ears covered, but he appears to be slightly more relaxed. "Everything is too loud and too bright fur him right now and he's going to 'wake up' with a really bad headache."

"We can't stay in the middle of the road until he comes around," Dolorosa whispers.

Psiioniic nods in agreement. "She's right. We need to keep moving."

I really want to give Equius some more time, but they're right. We do need to keep moving. "Equius," I whisper, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's time to go, my child." He nods as I pick him up.

Nepeta walks beside us. When Equius uncovers his ears, an hour later, she holds his hand. He's able to open his eyes without pain a few hours after that. By now, we've decided to find somewhere to stop for the day, so we're searching for a safe spot off the road.

~Author's Note~

I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry this is so late. I was preparing for IconiCon and forgot to draw the chapter art in time for the usual Thursday update. Due to my OCD I literally could not bring myself to post the text without the picture, so I didn't.

Anyways, here it is. I hope you liked it. Did you figure out what's tattooed on GHB's shoulder? Comment what you think it is, if you want(please). Hopefully chapter 11 will be up in time. Until then, stay tuned my lovely diamonds.