Rock, Paper, Scissors

4: Aftermath

I hear hysterical screams, faded by the distance. As I get closer, the sound of cries intensifies. A group of people comes to sight as I turn the corner. Their faces show shock, disgust, terror, pain, and sadness. In the middle, I spot Leslie crying in the arms of her boyfriend. I run to her, pushing through the crowd. When I get there, I realize she's shaking uncontrollably.

"What happened?" I ask.

She looks at me with her crying blue eyes and simply points to her left. I follow the direction and found the most horrific scene I've ever seen.

I can't move, my body completely froze. The cries I once heard are now a muffled sound in my ears. I feel as if my head was expanding and ready to explode. I can't think. I can't feel anything. I just sense my body stiffen up as if it was made of stone, completely detached from reality. I can't breathe. I- I can't... I can't breathe.

The sound of sirens breaks me from my trance and everything starts sinking in. A screech of despair comes from my mouth and I crouch as I feel tears rolling down my face. 

I woke up gasping for air, my heart was pounding rapidly and hardly in my chest. I felt dizzy as I sat up and placed my hand over my chest, trying to hold the sharp, cutting pain I was feeling. Droplets of sweat scrolled down my entire body, giving me chills even though I felt hot. Too hot.

I got up and opened the window to let the cold air of the night wash over me. Once I recovered, I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face, but I still felt hot. Thus, I decided to take a shower, a long shower. After a few minutes, my body started to relax a little.

After the shower, I put on a clean pajama and went back to bed. It's not like I was going to get any more sleep but laying in my bed was still comfortable. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, I'm too agitated or maybe I'm just too scared of having that dreadful dream again.

It's a recurring dream I started having years ago. I couldn't sleep because of it and it quickly became apparent on my face and behavior. I had dark circles under my eyes, I was always on edge and would snap at everyone for no reason. 

That's when my parents decided to take me to a professional and I started taking the magical pills that made my nights peaceful again.

And here I thought I could handle it. Good job Julie! Now you have to endure an entire week of this shit.

Why did I decide to be thoughtful when I knew this would probably happen? I didn't know, I guess I was just stupid.

To be honest I was curious. I guess that deep in my heart I wanted to know if I was normal again, after all, four years is a long time, it should be enough to heal.

The sun came out and I was waiting for the alarm to go off.

Any minute now

As soon as I heard the Minion's Banana song starting, I picked up my phone and turned the alarm off. I got up and changed into the closest jeans I could find and a V-neck light-pink soft sweater. I went down to the kitchen to eat my breakfast and came back up to wash my teeth and face.

I splashed my face with water and looked up at the mirror to see my horrendous reflection. Huge dark circles laid underneath my eyes, I pretty much looked like a zombie. I pondered for a moment whether I should put on make-up and try to conceal last night's damage but end up deciding to go make-up-free. It'd take too much effort to do it right and I was too lazy for it.

My messy bun didn't seem to help my appearance so I brushed my hair as I usually did, letting it flow freely on my back, hoping it would make it better. Spoiler alert: it didn't. I still looked as if I was about to pass out.