Rock, Paper, Scissors

38: I got issues

I felt relieved, happy and calm after our talk on the rooftop. The calm quickly transformed into excitement knowing we would hang out more after school as we used to. It's funny how one moment I was hurt and the next I had forgotten about it. I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Is it normal to forgive and forget this quickly? I don't know, the only thing I know is that I was sure I could trust Nick. He never lied to me, even when he was keeping secrets, he never tried to produce a lie to cover it. He is who he is.

Ava was particularly excited despite making fun of us in the first place for going to karaoke. I imagined her to be a good singer, I don't know why but there was something about her that screamed 'Popstar'.

I think I wasn't far off since once we got to our karaoke room Ava wanted to go first. She sang Pink's "Raise your glass" as if she was living for it. No one can sing like Pink, that woman has a unique voice, but Ava made her justice.

Micah wanted to go next with, of course, another Panic at the disco's song that he destroyed. As soon as he was done Noah stole the mic, making sure we were safe from any other atrocious note that could come from Micah. He pulled me up and selected a song we liked to sing. Sing, or, as a certain friend would put it: scream. It was Mika's "Relax, Take it easy".

"I want to sing one with you too!" Ava jumped from her seat and grabbed me. I laughed, while she shuffled eagerly through the list searching for the right song. She ended up choosing Shania Twain's "I feel like a woman" and we sang our hearts out.

After that, she passed the mic to Nick who exasperatingly took it. He quickly chose a song and started singing "Counting Stars" from One Republic. Once again, I was enthused by his voice and singing ability. I found myself imagining him serenading me with beautiful songs.

Once the song was over, he placed the mic on the table. Feeling an urge to go after him I took it and I scrolled through the list. I saw a title I recognized and stopped. Something in my guts shifted. I wanted to sing its words, I wanted to sing them to him.

I pressed play and took a deep breath as the first notes came up. I started singing, gathering my courage with every word, until the chorus part. I looked up to face Nick and sang, my eyes never leaving him, "Cause I got issues, but you got them too, so give them all to me and I'll give mine to you." Our eyes were fixed on each other as if we were the only ones in the room, and I knew he was getting the message. "Bask in the glory, of all our problems, cause' we got the kind of love it takes to solve them. Yeah, I got issues, and one of them is how bad I need you..." I continued, feeling my cheeks burn at the words.

"I'm next," Nick stated when I was done, surprising everyone for his promptness. Last time we had to almost force him to sing. Now he was ready to sing two songs almost in a row. Maybe this was a sign of how comfortable he was with us now. I smiled at that thought and passed him the mic.

He started a familiar melody. Like the last time he sang Imagine Dragons, his voice fitted the song perfectly. The title of the song was "Demons" and I wondered why he had chosen it, when he looked back at me, I understood. He was singing it to me, "I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you, but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed.
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."

I wasn't sure how to feel about this. Was it a reply, if so to what part of the song? Was he saying that he wanted for us to get closer or that we shouldn't overdo it? I was so confused, and my mood sank.

Fortunately, Tyler was great at lightening the atmosphere. After Nick finished, he took the mic, this time dedicating his song not to me but Ava. He sang "Get lucky" by Daft Punk, putting his arm around Ava when he said he was "up all night to get lucky".

Ava maliciously squinted at him, grabbing the mic to sing Jessie J's "Do it like a dude". She danced every word of the chores, making sure she faced him whenever she mimicked a thrust. The fight wasn't over though, Tyler sang "Boom, boom, boom" by the Vengaboys, he couldn't have been more explicit.

I was holding my stomach, laughing, while Noah was slapping his knee, crying from the sexy dance Tyler was offering. I looked up at Nick who was laughing as I had never seen him before. Ava stole the mic from Tyler's hands even before the song finished. She glanced at him before scrolling through the songs with determination. A smirk danced on her lips as the song started: "Slut like you" by Pink.

I've never admired Ava more. She was so strong and brave. She didn't care what others could think or say she just did what she felt like doing. She wasn't afraid to be Ava. And to sing such explicit words without being frustrated was just... I couldn't even think about sex without blushing, let alone talk about it.

The show went on for everyone's pleasure. We were having so much fun that we had to book an extra hour. An extra hour to think about the words Nick sang. When we left Ava suggested we got dinner together at a nearby diner. I declined, knowing my parents wouldn't appreciate the short notice, but they went on. I waved the group goodbye and they walked away. Nick turned back to me again to give me a discreet two-finger salute and a warm smile that created a fire in the cold of the night.