Longing for Absolution (Twilight Fan-Fic)

Chapter 4: Seeing a safe way out

*Resumes to present with Bella beginning to explain herself to the Cullen's.*

Bella's p.o.v

I decided to enlighten them.

"Just as your family contains gifts, so do I." I explained.

I quickly searched the Cullen's fate, within that I saw things that I couldn't explain, I pushed most of it to a dark corner of my mind and began to explain my past- well most of it anyways, they don't need to know my details. 

"I'm a mixture of human and vampire, a hybrid if you must. You see I was born, not bitten. I'll tell you the basics, I am five years old and I look about sixteen. I age differently compared to humans, I'd have to say one year of mine is close to three or four to a human. I'm assuming because I'm half vampire my growth is rapid but it has been slowing down within the past year. On my birthday I get a major growth spurts and I gain a gift, well you can guess how many I have by my age. I am a shield, Physical and Mental. That's why Alice can not see my future, why Jasper can not read or control my emotions and why Edward can not read my mind. I am also a Fate-Past seer, Fire-Water controller, Human Manipulator and a Thermal sensor. I've already looked into your pasts and they're very painful." I finished.

Surprise and wonder covered each one of their faces, I could tell Carlisle was peaking with curiosity and his eyes were gleaming with so many questions. A few minutes went by without a single word, everyone had their eyes locked on me.

Then someone finally spoke and I was surprised that it was Esme, her words echoed inside my head.

"Where are your parents, dear?" asked Esme.

Many thoughts and voices suddenly shouted inside my head, I think my hands clamped around my head. I couldn't be sure because some kind of numbness was spreading throughout each vein in my body, it gave me a certain feeling of lightness almost like floating. My head felt like an iron block, i felt the slight swaying that my body seemed to be doing, or at least from what I could feel anyway.

I finally realized what the voices inside my head were, it was my own. My cries from when I was a newborn, calling out to my parents in the dark, starry skied meadow. It kept replaying over and over in my head, if I wasn't crying on the outside then I must have a lot more self-control than I knew about. My insides were breaking to pieces, I couldn't believe that Esme's words could break this...wall that I had so easily.  It could be the fact that I had never spoken of it, only in my thoughts but even then I had everything locked up.

Someone started shaking me, I almost didn't respond. Alice kept saying my name until I finally heard her. I was shocked that everyone was so close to me, I was frustrated at myself for not paying  attention and for letting something like that ever occur in the first place.

I finally found my voice to tell them I was alright, but my heart let the words " I don't know." slip from my lips.

I was saddened by the truth in those words and felt vulnerable, too much for my liking. So I ran, I needed to think more and rebuild that wall, I guess that is my security for myself....keeping me detached from everything. The way I liked it.

I swore to myself that this wouldn't have to happen again, is it just their appearance in my life that has made such a drastic change already? I need my wall, I couldn't feel the ground against my black chained boots. I wasn't sure how long or how fast I was going but in the end I was by my beautiful bubbling creek.

This part of the forest was unreachable by human standards, therefor no grimy hands or time has ever had a hold upon it. For that I was very happy, I sat down to think while I pulled off my knee-high boots and stuck my feet into the water.

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Thank you to everyone who has read so far, I would really love some comments on how I'm doing and if you like this story or not, please vote and comment for me. It would mean everything to me guys, seeing as how I'm a new writer and everything ;)

--LeeBells