Subject: LOVE 101

Reality 16

Reality 16

We were quiet the whole trip back to Manila. Wala talaga ako sa mood makipag-usap ngayon.

"Cee," basag nito sa katahimikang namamagitan sa aming dalawa. "You're too quiet and I'm not sure I like that. What's wrong?"He suddenly asked.

Instead of answering, I turned my head to the other direction and I heard him sigh heavily.

"I'm fine." Maikling sagot ko."Pwede ba akong umabsent ngayon?" This is what I need so kakapalan ko na ang mukha ko.

Sandaling kumunot ang noo nito ngunit pumayag din sa huli. "Of course."

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang di na ito humimingi pa ng paliwanag. I thought he's gonna ask me some questions that I can not answer right now. "Thanks. Can you drop me somewhere? May dadaanan pa kasi ako."

"Ihahatid na kita."He offered.

"No. I want to go there by myself. I need some time alone." I replied, still not bothering to look at him. Using my peripheral view, I saw him tighened his grip at the steering wheel.

Halata ang disgusto nito sa ideyang iwan akong mag-isa, ngunit wala na din itong nagawa. Matapos nya akong ibaba, agad akong tumawag ng taxi.

Pakiramdam ko ay sumisikip ang dibdib ko habang papalapit ako sa lugar na yon. Mag-iisang taon na rin mula ng huli akong tumuntong dito. At gaya ng dati, nag-uunahan na namang pumatak ang mga luha ko ng masilayan ko ang dahilan ng pagpunta ko sa lugar na to.

"Hi Ma." Inilapag ko na ang dala kong kumpol ng bulaklak puntod ng aking ina. "Sorry ha, di kita masyadong nadadalaw. Medyo busy lang talaga ako lately."

Liar. At sinong linoko mo? Di ka nagpupunta dito dahil duwag ka. You're afraid to accept the fact that she's already gone. "I miss you." Tumingala ako upang pigilan ang mga luha ko.

"Alam mo Ma, I met a guy. Ang gwapo nya. I'm sure pag nakita mo sya, you'll definitely agree with me. At pinagluto nya ako. Diba ang sweet?"Sinubukan kong pasiglahin ang pagak kong tinig. "Ma, is it okay if I fall for him? Isn't it selfishness? That I will have my happy ending while my sister suffers? Ma, nahihirapan na ako. Tulungan mo naman ako, di ko na alam ang gagawin ko." If truth betold, I will fight to death for my freedom, and so as my family. I just can't walk away and forget about them. May responsibilidad din ako sa pamilya ko.

"You're not selfish. You had never been selfish."I heard someone said.

"Papa." I whisphered. I know it's him kahit hindi ko sya lingunin. We always went here together to pay Mama a visit.

"So, who's the lucky guy? Madaya ka, sa Mama mo lang talaga sasabihin?" Umupo na ito sa tabi ko at inilapag ang dalang bulaklak.

"Saka ko na ipapakilala. Pag okay na ang lahat." I was trying my best to smile.

Nagpakawala ito ng malalim na buntong hininga. "Sorry anak. Pasensya na kung di ko natupad ang pangako ko sa mama mo na aalagaan kita."

I looked at him with sympathy. Alam kong mahirap din para sa kanya ang lahat ng to. "Papa, don't blame yourself. Lahat nang nangyari sakin, ginusto ko. At wala akong pinagsisisihan don," what I said was true. I don't regret anything. Starting from the time that I decided to leave our house and be on my own.

My father looked at me intently. Guilt is visible in his face. "I know. I just can't help but feel useless. I am your father yet I can't do anything about the marriage- the very reason why you left and now Papa's dragging Chari into it."

"Not being able to stop that marriage doesn't make you less of a father. You're the best dad and I couldn't ask for more." I gave him a warm hug as assurance. "I love you Pa."