The Great Pretender

27: Hot Water

Seeing Cash's car in her driveway was a nice and much welcomed surprise. Cherish couldn't get into her house fast enough and barreled into the living room, "Cash!"

Cash chuckled awkwardly on the couch, feeling hyper aware of the fact that Cherish's father was glaring at him. He gently pushed her off his lap and unlocked her arms from around his neck, "Cherish!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you," Cash wished he didn't sound so fake. Cherish's father was staring him down, and with the older man there and completely unaware of what had happened to his baby, he couldn't really tell her the real reason he was there. Instead he smiled as brightly as he could. He knew he must have looked either constipated or like a complete sleaze to her father, but he'd always been crap at acting.

Cherish jumped up and taking his hand, dragged him up the stairs, "Hi Daddy! We'll be up in my room hanging out, k?"

Cash shuffled into her room, feeling just a little relieved that she wasn't as unresponsive as the last time she'd been in this situation. She dumped her bag onto her bed and began pulling out and organizing her homework. "So, you came to surprise me, hmm?" she glanced up at him, a teasing glint in her eye.

"Quentin called. How're you doing?"

"You didn't have to come all this way, Argent," Cherish smiled tenderly.

Cash frowned at her use of his real name, "I wanted to, Babe. I needed to make sure you're doing okay."

She shrugged as she perched herself on the edge of the bed, "I guess."

"So, what happened?"

"Quinn didn't tell you?"

He shook his head, but then knowing she knew both him and his brother too well, he nodded.

"He told me you flipped out because of a guy... and kissing."

"It was Seven."

"I know."

Cherish didn't look surprised, instead she flipped a notebook open and set to work on her homework.

"Cherry. What happened? Are you okay?"

"Ari cuffed us together, but you knew that. We spent a whole lot of time together because of her. I don't know who started it really, but we kissed."

"And?"

"And... I don't know Cash. He's a guy."

"And maybe he's not that kind of guy," Cash sounded just a little exasperated.

Cherish frowned, "That's not the point, Cash. I didn't want a guy. I don't want a guy. Well, I don't want a girl either, but you know what I mean. If I hadn't been stuck to his damn side then I wouldn't have... It wouldn't have happened."

"So, you're telling me you never wanted it to happen?" Cash was a strange forced calm, a tiny bit probing and a tiny bit possessive.

Cherish smiled as she watched his emotions flit across his face; skepticism at her denial, anger at Seven's actions. "I don't know. I guess I kind of did want it to happen. But then... I don't know if can trust him, you know?"

"Malice," Cash said carefully, weighing the consequences of his words, "I know this is hard for you. I know it's got to be all kinds of awkward, but not everyone is like that. If you're never going to give anyone the chance, then how will you know if you can trust them or not? You can't live the rest of your life only trusting Jeb , Quinn and I. I mean, for one thing, we're all taken."

Cherish laughed, "Who said I wanted any of you?"

"Well, you're gonna want someone one day. You're gonna feel like you need someone, you know, the way I have Jacqueline and Quinn has Nessa. If you don't ever give anyone the chance to earn your trust, you won't ever have anyone."

"I know that."

Cash hadn't expected that response; what he'd expected was blazing guns and fiery fury and a pleasant walk through every level of hell that Cherish could think to drag him through. He stared at her dumbly, not knowing what to say because he'd come prepared to argue her out of the fortress she'd built around herself. What did you say when your job just got cut in half? Into a tenth even? He examined her closely; it had to be a trick, she was definitely rallying for an attack.

"Cash," and here it came, "I have a lot of trouble with the whole trust thingy, okay? I don't know how to do it. Every time I think it might be okay, something makes me freak out. Even Ian, he's into Delia for fuck's sake- he just wanted to be my friend, and I couldn't even let him! I know you're right, and Delia's right and sometimes I do wish I could be like you guys. I wish I could have what you guys have with your others, but I'm so scared of it."

He blinked at her; it wasn't a trick? She wasn't going to jump down his throat for suggesting she get on with her life?

"You know, I wish one of you guys really got it," she said suddenly. "Not that I wish you guys were hurt or anything. But I just wish one of you really got it. Why it's so fucking hard." She watched him watch her; she could see him trying to figure out what to say, to not sound stupid by saying "get what?" like she knew he wanted to.