Saving Grace

Chapter 8

I was back in Seattle at my mom home. It was funny how I called it home despite nothing homey about the house. It was large and lonely, Luca was at work most of the time and all my other friends had lives to live. Yeah I was occupied with the organization Jack and I had started but there was still that emptiness in my heart. It was almost like a void and there was nothing to fill it. The realization of that cut deeper and deeper into my heart.

Sighing loudly I continued finalizing the details of the charity auction Jack and I were planning. I wanted it to be perfect because if it was, Jack and I would raise a lot of money for good.

"What you doing?" I heard Luca say and I looked up at him from the couch I was sitted on before shrugging and replying with 'the auction'.

He nodded and sat down on the couch opposite me. I continued working while glancing at him occasionally. He was staring at me which was making me uncomfortable.

"Stop staring," I whispered without looking up and he just grunted but didn't say anything else.

"Why are you home early?" I questioned under his uncomfortable gaze while putting my work aside and staring back.

"You forgot didn't you?" he replied clearly annoyed that I'd forgotten. Was there anything I was supposed to remember?

"Forgot what Luca?"

"About the lunch with my parents, you're supposed to meet my dad for the very first time," he explained and I immediately felt bad. Luca and his dad had bad blood between so I'd never met him, ever. I only ever saw his pictures.

"Luca, I'm so sorry I forg-" Luca cut me off and walked out of the room while I remained feeling really bad. After years of them not meeting eye to eye Luca's mom had set them up to meet and I'd totally forgotten to prepare so that we'd go.

As I was feeling sorry for myself i noticed Luca come back into the living room dressed in a navy blue suit contrary to the black one he was wearing before. He was now doing his cufflinks and I realized I was supposed to have been getting ready.

"I'll just quickly shower then we'll go," I quickly told Luca as I hastily got up to go to my room.

He looked annoyed and was about to protest but I ignored him and ran up to shower. I hoped he wouldn't leave me, I really hoped he didn't. After my shower I wore a long green classy dress that was decent but pretty and I smiled as I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Shall we?" Luca asked while holding out his hand as I descended the stairs and I nodded before taking his hand.

"Indeed we shall," I replied and he shot me a genuine smile which warmed my heart. Things were less icy between us and I appreciated it.

"Thanks for actually waiting for me," I told him after a while as we were driving to his parent's house.

"It's nothing, don't read into it," Luca said and I nodded but I didn't miss the way his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

***

"I'm sorry," I found myself say to Luca as he kept roughly running his hands through his hair angrily.

After his father had insulted him, his mother and me, I didn't blame him for being the way he was. From what I'd gathered Luca's father had been abusive towards his mother during his childhood and they didn't see eye to eye until finally Luca's mother packed up with her son and was on her way to a better life. They both rarely ever saw each other but when they did it was going down memory lane for Luca and his mother.

"Why are you sorry?" Luca questioned while glaring at me and I glared back feeling angry at how he was acting.

"I'm sorry your father is a dick and he trampled on your ego! I'm sorry you hate me so much and you're forced to be with me! I'm sorry you're such a jerk and a pain in my ass! I'm sorry you're always so mad at everyone and everything! I'm sorry you can't let go of whatever you're holding onto and just be happy!" I ranted while pacing up and down feeling my anger levels rise to abnormal levels.

He kept staring at me blankly as I was ranting before he sighed and began talking. "Do you want to know why I'm so angry at everything?" he questioned and I nodded exasperated.

"You're unlovable Grace," he told me seriously and I felt my heart drop. "You're so hard to love Grace and that makes me so angry! I tried my best to be that guy for you but you rejected me. After that rejection you'd think I didn't keep trying but I did and how did that end up? Have you ever stopped to think of how I felt loving a person who doesn't love me back? Have you ever once stopped to think of how you didn't want me to move on and yet you couldn't return my love? You're selfish Grace and you hurt everyone around you just to protect yourself. You keep yourself locked in this cocoon of yours and you don't take risks to live a little. This is real life Grace and sometimes loving a person can be a risk that you should be willing to take. You're scared to take risks Grace, you're a coward and that's why you'll never be truly happy. You're incapable of living and taking chances which is what makes people happy. You make excuses for being a coward and that ...that just makes me pity you."

I stared at him angry at his outburst and how his words had greatly affected me as they were true. They made me reflect on my life and notice how right he was and how wrong he was too.

"Marrying you was a risk," I found myself whispering as a way of defending myself and not allowing him to think he had seen though me.

"And loving me was part of it," he replied before walking out of the living room leaving me staring after him angry and confused.