El-Oh-Vee-Ee (BoyxBoy)

Come Undone

       (Xander is to the left ;))

Well, that was awkward. 

I just kissed my cousin.

Well, not really, he kissed me.

When he pulled away, the feel of his lips on mine lingered. 

He smiled. "I'm sorry, I just had to. Um... Yeah, s-sorry."

"Don't be." I rolled my eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay with you kissing me, you know."

"But we're cousins," he whispered. "That wasn't weird to you?"

I looked down at my feet. "Well, maybe. But not in a bad way."

Zack looked around the room awkwardly, obviously trying to avoid my gaze. I don't blame him, this was probably awkward. Family, adopted or not, doesn't kiss family. Hell, they barely hug, in my book. Some families do, but me... I barely even hug my foster mother. ;-;        

"I mean, we could just pretend it didn't happen, right?" I choked. I didn't want to forget though, and I doubt he did, either. At least... I don't think he wanted to... 

And I'm not sure I want him to want to forget.

"Yeah... Sure..." He muttered.

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure what I was even sorry for. 

"Why would you be sorry? I kissed you!" His voice rose, but then fell, when he realized Mindy was literally two rooms away and my walls weren't thick. 

"Because I let it happen?" I winced.

Zack rolled his eyes. "You're funny, Xander. Real funny."

I was quiet for a few moments, but then talked again, trying to sound mature. "I was being serious. I mean... We obviously both wanted to... So neither of us should apologize."

"It was wrong, Xander. Are you stupid?"

"Depends. What do you mean by stupid?" I joked.

"This isn't time for joking." Zack was curled up, knees to his chest, rocking slowly. "I can't fall in love again, I can't... No... I don't want to come undone again."

I loosened his grip on his body, pulling him into my arms slowly, hesitantly, hoping I wasn't making a stupid move. I've always been one to do that. "Hey. It's okay. Don't cry. Relax.. We can come undone together."

"Xander, we can't be together, it is illegal, you know," Zack pointed out.

"Okay, then we aren't 'together,'" I said calmly. "Did I say I wanted to be with you?"

"You don't want to?" He sounded hurt.

"I didn't say that, Zack." I sighed. "I don't want to fall in love, though."

 "Well, neither do I. So let's not fall in love." He buried his face in my shoulder.

"Sure. Cause that always happens," I whispered.

"Just pretend I'm a stranger, Xander." Zack mumbled, his voice lowering.

"Why would I kiss a stranger?" He pressed his index finger to my lips.

"Be quiet."

I blushed. "Whatever you say."

He replaced his finger with his mouth again, pressing against me. "Don't let me fall apart, X," he whispered into my lips.        

"I wouldn't dare." I smiled, taking his face into my hands. "Hurting you would hurt me more."

 "To think we used to hate each other." Zack chuckled as we broke apart. "You hated me more than you do cabbage."

"Don't speak of that accursed vegetable." I groaned. 

Ever since I was a kid, I've hated cabbage. It wasn't even the taste, I don't think, it was more of the texture, even the look. It's horrid.         

"Oh, come on, you know it's true. Why did you hate it, anyway?"

I laughed, staring into his eyes. "Hell, I don't know. I mean it doesn't taste so bad, it's more of the texture that disgusts me. The taste is gross, but the texture makes it worse." 

"You're crazy." He buried his face in my chest.

My heart started racing. "Says the guy who's laying on my chest."

He laughed, sweet and symphonic like bells chiming, but hollow like glass. I knew he was in pain. I wanted to end it. 

I don't want to see Zack hurt anymore. I don't want him to come undone.

At least without me. We could come undone together....

But we can't fall in love.