For Loki

Chapter 3

"You look beautiful!" my mother said as she walked into my room. I had chosen a long red dress to symbolise Loki's favourite colour. I would never choose black. I wanted his funeral to be a happy thing, not sad and dull. Of course it would be emotional, but I don't want to be sitting there thinking about his death. I want to sit there and think about his life.

I clip a necklace around my neck and go over to my vanity to do my hair. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I realise I look so much like Loki. Same eyes, hair colour... I decide to just brush it back into a single side braid. He loved my hair like this. He said it looked like I was a horsewoman and that I would sweep him up on my steed and ride away with him. I smiled at the thought.

"Are you ready?" my mother said. I quickly grab a packet of tissues and put them in my purse. "I'm ready." I sigh. I give my mum a quick hug before heading downstairs to the car.

When we arrive at the funeral, we quickly say hello to Loki's family, before heading in to take out seats. As I have to make a speech with Kacey, we sit down the front and see Loki's coffin just sitting there. "Kacey?" I say, tapping her on the shoulder. "Can we put something around the coffin?" I think it looks bare and Loki would rather drown in flowers than have nothing around his coffin.

We go quickly buy a few bouquets of daffodils and scatter them around his coffin. We then take our seats and wait for the funeral to start.

Time seems to fly past and soon it's time for my speech. I quickly walk up, take the microphone and start to speak.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm reading without seeing and my voice breaks. I start tearing up and they fall down my cheeks, just like they did at the hospital. When I finish, I step back to let Kacey speak. I try to listen but I can't really hear. When she finishes, we walk down and hug each other tightly before sitting down.

After the funeral, Loki's mum comes up to me. I see her eyes are red and swollen. "Loki said he wanted you to choose where he was buried.

I chose to have him buried at the lake that we used to hang out at before he was diagnosed. Then he was in hospital almost 24/7. Loki's mum also let me say goodbye to him before he was buried. As they opened the coffin, I didn't think. I sprinted to the coffin and almost kissed him but my mum held me back. I realised that it was stupid to kiss him. So I said goodbye and blew a kiss to him. They then lowered him into the hole, said a prayer and then... I didn't see anything after that. I was too busy crying.

After everyone else was gone, I sat there, staring at the spot where Loki was buried. I felt like digging him out, but I didn't. I sat, the sun starting to set, but I didn't care. I just wanted to sit with Loki. I will visit his grave everyday. I know he would want that. So I'm doing it.

For Loki.