Shawn POV
"I'm such a screw up"I say to myself as I sit here on the closed lid of the toliet seat with a razor in hands,turning it over as I think about everything.A tear slids down my cheek as I move the razor closer to my thigh as I make another line and carve,'worthless' next to 'freak' and more tears fall. "Hey Shawnie you okay babe?"My boyfriend of almost a year asked me and I attempted to hold back a sob as I replied with,"Y-yeah I'm fine Sammy"I say as I try to keep my voice steady and make another line on thigh,biting my lip to try and keep my sobs in. I met Sam through my bestfriends Jack and Jack,ironically they are together too and we've been together ever since but at the time I was planning my death to actually care until I looked up and saw him,the light of the tunnel that's now going back to black thanks to the voices in my head telling what everyone's true feelings about me are.He came over all the time to hang out with me but I thought he was bugging me at first until we held a conversation and the voices weren't speaking at all,hidden to where I couldn't hear them which made me smile a real smile. They came back the day he left for tour with the Jacks,that day I missed him like crazy and even cried a bit but the tomorrow I would be a month clean since he came home if it wasn't for the voices and the hate plus my depression coming back with a vengence to get rid of me. I was about to make another cut when the door was unlocked and in walked Sam who with one look at me just sighed and walked over to me,grabbing the first aid kit to fix everything but I just looked at him with tears in my eyes."I just wanted to them to be quiet but it got too loud so I thought it would help"I say to him with tears running down my face."It's okay baby I understand and I wish you would've told me this so I could've helped you with them."Sam told me as he cleaned my cut which made me flinch back a bit and he covered the carvings bandaids so they don't get infected,"I'm sorry I messed up"I kept repeating and he knelt down in between my legs,wiping my eyes and cheeks to get rid of the tears and he just pulled me onto his lap,"It's okay"he whispered into my ear which made the voices go away and I just laid my head on his shoulder,some tears coming out as he kissed my neck softly."I love you no matter what and come to me whenever it gets bad okay"Sam said as I just sniffled and leaned more into his touch.
Hey guys so I'll be putting a few things up so watch for two different fanfics I'm writing :) Have a nice day/night and if anything is bugging you or you need to talk my inbox is open and my kik is lexibell256 so just send me a message and I'll answer trust me.
