Reflection

Intoxicated

Lukas stood frozen in place, his blood ran cold, his mouth hung open in complete shock.

Out of all the things he didn't expect those words to utter out of her mouth. It didn't even cross his mind.

He couldn't believe it. Out of all people....why was it her.

Jesse's heartbroken gaze fell, her umber boot sliding against the dense floor.

Lukas raked a cold hand through his blonde hair, blinking rapidly.

"Jesse....no...," Lukas said, choking back a sob, his eye's filled with disbelief. "T-theirs....no way..."

Jesse regretfully glanced up at him, saddened by his incredulity. "I-It took me....awhile to accept the fact too."

Jesse quickly grabbed Lukas' cold hand in a comforting way, avoiding his sorrowful gaze.

Jesse bit her quivering bottom lip and closed her tear filled eyes, gently squeezing his quivering hands.

Lukas blinked back tears, taking deep breaths. He couldn't concentrate.

Lukas wiped his eyes with his soft ebony sleeve, fighting back the rivers of tears that were threatening to spill.

Jesse gazed at the ground. The fact that she let her heart pour out to him, it took off some weight that was on her shoulders.

"....T....thanks for...telling me this...," Lukas whispered softly, his voice cracking. His sapphire eyes radiantly as he solemnly gazed at Jesse. Jesse glanced up, as Lukas tenderly wrapped his arms around her.  

Jesse wasn't expecting such a calm reaction, but she was extremely grateful for it. "I...should've told...you sooner." Jesse whispered, her face wet with tears.

"...Well...at least you told me now....," Lukas whispered timidly in her ear.

Jesse closed her glossy umber eyes, letting her head fall on Lukas' chest.

---

Jesse was sitting outside, her wine bottle in hand. She didn't understand. She was definitely not expecting what Lukas had said, but nevertheless she was grateful for such a calm reaction. He was so overwhelmingly genuine with her.

She brought the cold bottle to her lips, chugging down the vibrant scarlet liquid. She didn't know how much she had, but she certainly didn't stop.

She was starting to feel more than tipsy and she felt the world tilt, but she didn't stop drinking. She liked the numbing feeling it gave her.

She wanted to escape reality and this was her way of doing so. She didn't understand why the world was so cruel. Everything she did never seemed like enough and now she was plagued with a disease.

She wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. She had no desire to live. What was she even living for again?

Would Lukas even care if she died? Jesse suddenly smashed her wine bottle into the concrete. She kept smashing the glass bottle, the ruby colored liquid splattering on her clothes and face. She felt all these different emotions, anger, grief, frustration and much more, but she had no way of getting rid of them.

Tiny shards flew into the air, but she kept smashing the bottle. The sound of glass breaking echoed into the foggy air. She was blinded by frustration and her consciousness was slowly slipping away from her. Wine spilled from the cracks of glass and unto the dense concrete. Her movements became more sluggish, but she still didn't understand why. Why was she still alive? Why was she brought into this cruel world? Why didn't the wither storm just take her life when it had the chance? Why did Reuben have to die? Why did things have to change?

Jesse's weary umber eyes gazed at the large piece of glass near her. Her aching heart, rapidly thumping against her chest. Her mind was foggy and swirling with deceiving thoughts. With one swift movement she snatched the large shard of glass.

Her hand started quivering, but she brought the glass to her right arm.

Nobody will miss you....

You won't have to suffer any longer...

Jesse's breaths became rapid. She couldn't even think straight anymore. Her intoxication levels had raised extremely high and she felt woozy.

That's when Jesse brought the glass closer to her arm. The sharp edge of the glass pierced her cold skin and dug deep into her flesh. Blood oozed from her deep wound, but she didn't stop. She repeated the action several times and it wasn't long before she had several deep cuts on her arm. Blood oozed down her arm and she felt numb. It was extremely scary that she seemed to enjoy it, but then again she was drunk.

"Jesse what are you doing!?" The blonde exclaimed in panic, quickly dashing towards her and kneeling beside her, taking the large shard of glass from her hand and tossing it to the side.

"...Hey buddy....," Jesse slurred, quirking her head to the side. She rapidly grabbed him by the shoulders and roughly shook him.

Jesse giggled, before realizing her loose grip on Lukas' shoulders. "Jesse....what are you doing?" Lukas asked, noticing her strange behavior.

Lukas' soft azure eyes gazed at Jesse in horror, sorrow, and shock. The deep cuts in her arm, sickening.

"Jesse....why would you....," Lukas drifted off, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes shining with new found tears. If he thought things were bad before now he was solely mistaken.

An eerie silence hung in the air and Jesse's calm, mocha eyes were glazed.

"Have you been drinking?" Lukas questioned, noticing the smashed wine bottle.

Jesse giggled, waving her hand in dismissal, "....It's fine Blondie...."

Lukas raked his cold fingers through his neat golden hair, taking a deep shuddering breath. Jesse hiccuped and rolled her head to the side, completely zoned out of any negative thoughts.

Jesse placed her cold hand underneath Lukas' chin. "You know you're kinda cute with those silver goggles....," Jesse garbled, messing with his light gray goggles.

Lukas gently moved Jesse's soft hands away. "Yep...your definitely drunk Jesse."

".....No, I'm not...!" Jesse blurted, losing her balance as she suddenly felt extremely lightheaded. "Woah!" Lukas exclaimed, quickly grabbing her by the waist before she could hit the hard ground. Lukas sighed, worriedly staring at the unconscious Jesse in his arms, "What are you doing with yourself Jesse..."

--

Lukas' mind raced, his grief-stricken heart pounding against his chest. He didn't know what to do. He hated to admit, but she was way worse than he thought. Was she only drinking to cope? He thought to himself. Or was their more going on that she just wasn't telling him?

Lukas worriedly gazed at Jesse, she was sleeping peacefully on her bed, a gauze wrapped around her arm. Her chest was slowly heaving in and out. He spotted a wine bottle on her end table. "Guess this isn't the first time intoxicating yourself huh," He mumbled to himself.

Lukas grabbed his phone from his pocket and tried to get in contact with Axel or Olivia. He had tried countless times before and even just a few minutes ago, but his phone calls always went straight to voicemail. Whenever he'd text them, he'd never receive a text back. As for Petra it was the same, but he assumed that she didn't have any signal.

Lukas' focused gaze locked on a peacefully sleeping Jesse once more.

He stress fully ran his cold hand through his neat golden hair. What was he going to do now? Did she still have some secrets that she kept to herself? Lukas sighed leaning back in his chair. He never would have imagined, Jesse intoxicating herself, not in a million years.

---

Welp, it was bound to happen some time! And ya girl here confused herself with all the drafts she made (I'm not gonna go into detail) ;P

  .-.

._.

Oh yeah and I'm still alive! ;3

Guess I'll see you in the next chapter then. Ok Byeeee!