The Beta's Son

Chapter 9-Ashton

(Media: Lanie Tuchi)

Ashton's Point of View

"This is dumb," I sighed angrily as the woman flittered around me, taking measurements. She was hot, I enjoyed the view, her lacy bra was fully displayed every time she bent over and I know Jodie saw me looking. I didn't care, though.

"You'll be fine," Jodie mumbled, uncaring. I rolled my eyes and continued to gawk at the woman.

"He needs the vest in red. Well, maroon, really. I'll actually just go find it myself," Jodie sighed, standing to go find a shade that matched her dress.

"I'm almost done, I just need to measure your waist-" her arms wrapped around me, and I tensed, grabbing them.

"Sorry, ticklish," I said with a cool smirk. She looked taken aback, but a quick and nervous smile spread across her lips when I didn't let go.

"Your girlfriend's pretty," she said simply. I laughed, she was talking about Jodie. I shook my head, finally letting go of her.

"A friend, really. Just a friend."

"Oh," she said, her tone suddenly seductive. Her eyes grew dark while she finished the measurements, her eyes lingered for too long on the front of my pants as I stepped off the stool, she turned away quickly, obviously hoping I didn't notice the impressed look on her face. I did, I could practically feel my ego rise.

"So, do you guys ever get breaks?" I asked her carefully. She shook her head, smiling, obviously knowing what I wanted.

"Not really, but no one checks into the fitting rooms when we're measuring customers." I stepped towards her and she didn't move away.

"That doesn't seem very safe, leaving you ladies in here alone with all kinds of men." My hands snaked around her waist and she pressed her body into me.

"It's dangerous work," she said simply, then immediately pressed her lips to mine. I walked her backwards until she was pressed against a wall, her small moans echoing off the walls of the dressing room.

After we finished, literally, I walked back out to the lobby part of the store to wait for the woman, who's name I still didn't catch.

Jodie watched me with knowing eyes, a frustrated look on her face. I gave a small, dry laugh and she pinched her nose, livid.

"Have fun?" Before I could answer, the woman walked out from the back, her hair still slightly unruly and her cheeks flushed. I grinned, watching as she slipped behind the counter to finish our order. I finally noticed the name tag that read "Carly" in bold, black letters and smiled widely at her.

Jodie told her the exact shade number, sweetly threatening that she would sue if it was the wrong color when we picked it up, and Carly kept her eyes low.

"How much will that be, Carly?" Her eyes snapped to mine, then down to her name tag then back to the computer screen in front of her.

"Three-hundred seventy four dollars and ninety-three cents." I grinned, she still sounded breathless. I handed her my card while she finished the transaction, then mumbled that my suit would be ready by Thursday morning.

"So we go around fucking people now?" Jodie said bitterly as soon as we got into the car. I gave her a hearty laugh.

"Why not? C'est la vie and carpe diem, all that jazz." She shook her head angrily, staring out the window.

"Oh, come on. What, are you jealous?" I said playfully, her eyes shot to me with disbelief.

"Jealous?" She said, her tone low.

"Why else would you be so angry I fucked her," my voice equally as low. I still hadn't started the car, but the setting sun didn't make the car too hot, I was thankful.

"Ashton, please. If I wanted you, I could have you." She leaned in close, her warm breath close to my ear. It sent shivers down my spine. She pulled away, smirking. I shook my head then clicked my tongue at her.

"You're the devil, Jodie Reign." I flipped on the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot as her laughter filled the car.

We arrived back at my house right after the sun finished setting. As Jodie and I strolled through the front door I heard my mother calling out my name, sounding furious.

"Yeah, it's me," I yelled back. I heard the click clacking of her heels sounds through the house and when she came in to view I could feel my heart start to break. She had been crying, and it was because of me.

"One thing," she began, trying to sound angry but instead sounding devastated.

I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.

"I want one thing from you. That's all I've ever asked for, all I've ever actually demanded. I know it never really mattered to you, the Monday night dinners, but it mattered to me."

It mattered to me, too, mom. It always did.

"I give up, Ash. I don't know what else to do. I don't even know who you are anymore."

I'm me. It's always been me, I'm here, I'm stuck. I'm trying.

"I was holding onto tonight, I just knew you wouldn't skip out on this. Whatever you were going through, this was the one thing I knew you wouldn't ruin."

Jesus Christ, I know. I know, I know, I know.

I didn't say anything. She turned, and walked back the way she came. I looked back at Jodie, her eyes wide as saucers.

"You haven't told her?"

"I can't. My parents would attack the Naomi's. Lynn ruined me, they would go out for blood." I spoke lowly, careful not to let anyone hear.

"Ashton, you're destroying your mother," she whispered, matching my tone.

"She'll get over it." I said.

"She'll never forgive me," I thought.

Jodie left quickly after, and as I sat up in my room staring at the wall and trying to force myself to cry again, I listened and focused on my mother's sobs sounding out from her room, I listened to my father's reassurances.

"Am I being silly? The Monday traditions? Should I get over it, let him pass?" She cried.

"No. We agreed. When River died, we all agreed."

I expected my little brother's name to strike some kind of chord, maybe finally I'd get a tear, but there was nothing.

"That was seven years ago. Seven years worth of Monday night dinners, maybe he's tired of it. I can't keep forcing him to be there for me," she swallowed deeply after she spoke.

"It's not just for you. It's for all of us. Losing River was too hard."

Something tinged in me, finally. I felt my emotional pain reach out, trying to grasp at the physical, finally I felt my skin prickle, my eyes well up. I reached up, carefully, and caught the tear trying to roll down my face. I stared at it for a long time, my mouth hanging open and my heart feeling full of way too many feelings to count.

Then all of a sudden it was gone again, my eyes dried and my skin felt fine.

I didn't even have the energy to be angry, I just fell back onto my bed and drifted to sleep.