Vulnera Sanentur

Twelve

I moved slowly, my body feeling as though it was lagging. I had slept well, but I was still tired. My hands held my books loosely as I walked between classes. My hair was pulled up into a messy bun, noot having the energy to do anything with it. 

Severus and I had discussed the possibilities of what would happen when this war was over. We had faith that Potter would win, but both of us knew the outcome for Harry. Then the conversation had shifted. Once The Dark Lord was gone, would we continue this relationship? 

I didnt know. I couldnt answer that question without doubt. There was apart of me that thought we could, thought that maybe, I could love this man, but the part of me that wanted to be rid of this life was bigger. 

Tradition had told me that I was to fall in love, marry, then have children. I was not in love with Severus, though I understood how easily it could come to me if I just let it. I had never really let anyone in on my emotions, never really understanding the use for emotions. 

Until I'd met my father. I hated him. He brought out bad emotions and taught me hate. Punishments for things like looking at him, asking questions, or even performing a minor spell wrong, I would be beaten for. 

I knew that Severus could teach me the good emotions, the less painful ones. Ones like trust, love, and safety. I smiled a bit to myself, thinking on that. I had seen a life with Severus. A small house, mainly black decorations, on the edge of a town. A boy with Sevs black eyes and my brown hair stood by a baby laying on a pink blanket. Her eyes were the color of mine. 

Maybe Severus could teach me the meaning of family. Id never had that. I had never used that word to describe what my parents and I were. I had never felt love and care. Not even before my parents had found me. Severus could teach me those. I knew he could. 

I doubted my abilities to be a regular girl after this war. I had seen so much and done so much, how could I move past this? 

My mind whispered the words I knew to be true. You cant. 

I moved into the Great Hall, sitting down across from Draco. His blue eyes looked up to me, as if relief had taken over his body. We'd begun to speak again, knowing that we were in the same boat, with different consequences. We had to stick together now. It was the only way to keep or lives somewhat normal. 

We talked quietly over dinner, soft laughs erupting from both of us when one of the Hufflepuffs threw food at a Gryffindor. "FOOD FIGHT!" Someone yelled. I looked to Draco as he stood, coming over the table to take my hand. 

"I think we should go." He said, dragging me from the room. The teachers were trying to calm the students, get them to eat and not throw food. I smiled, knowing Sev would be having a conniption. 

We just have to survive the war, I thought. 

How hard could it be?