we were all at jin's and everyone was talking loudly like usual.
jungmin and i were the only quiet ones out of everyone but no one seemed to notice. i couldn't stop looking at him and every time our eyes locked, i felt a pang in my chest.
his eyes held so much pain in them and it hurt knowing i was the one who caused that.
"do you want something to drink?" i asked chanyeol to take my attention off of jungmin for just a moment. "sure babe." chanyeol smiled at me and i smiled back.
"okay, i'll be right back." i pecked chanyeol's lips before standing and walking towards the kitchen.
as i got closer and closer i could hear hushed voices and it seemed like they were arguing.
"yoongi he's our son—!"
"oh im sorry to interrupt." i mumbled, seeing that hoseok and yoongi were currently in the middle of an argument about jungmin.
"its not your fault taejoon, we shouldn't be doing this here anyway." yoongi sent hoseok a look and then left the kitchen.
"everything okay?" i asked hoseok as i grabbed two cokes for chanyeol and i. "no.. jungmin isn't okay or anywhere close to being okay and yoongi is just saying its all jungmin's fault and isn't trying to help me help jungmin."
i bit my lip, not being able to stop myself from being worried about jungmin.
but yoongi was right. it is jungmin's fault.
"well.. if you're referring to the day i came over then i can promise you that it is jungmin's fault. he lead me on and used me for his own needs and his own wants and then said he didn't want me anymore. i don't know what you think about that but i think its shitty of him to do. and to think i called him my best friend all my life."
i blinked away my tears and walked towards the door. i tried to leave but hoseok stopped me before i could.
"taejoon wait. im sorry about what he did but im truly scared of what he might do to himself because of it." hoseok said and that scared me too.
but i convinced myself there was nothing i could do about it.
"im really sorry hoseok but there's nothing i can do." i said and finally left the kitchen to go back to where everyone else was in the living room.
i handed chanyeol his drink and he thanked me after kissing me. i put on a smile and sat down beside him once again, not letting my gaze travel to jungmin anymore.
instead, i looked at hoseok as he silently stood beside yoongi and my parents who were talking non stop.
my mind was running crazy with thoughts of jungmin and whatevers going on inside his head.
i looked at chanyeol and he smiled at me, kissing my forehead firmly before laughing at something jinwoo said.
he looked so happy.
i shouldn't have pulled him into this mess. these are my own problems and i brought an innocent, happy man into my life when he was doing perfectly fine on his own.
"you okay, baby?" chanyeol asked and i hummed, snuggling closer to him. "be honest and forget about this whole act for a moment... how do you feel about me?" i asked quietly, scared of knowing the answer.
chanyeol smiled and kissed my nose cutely.
"i really like you taejoon and id really love it if we could stay together after this is over." chanyeol said quietly and my heart broke for him as i put on a smile.
"you're so cute." i whispered and chanyeol chuckled, pecking my lips.
he went back to talking with jinwoo and jimin after that and i held a smile so jungmin would think i was happy.
im not.
i feel horrible for making chanyeol fall for me. there's part of me that likes him back but i can't compare that to how i feel about jungmin.
i shouldn't have went through with this plan.
jungmin just wanted to explain to me his side of the story and i was being selfish by not letting him.
i was an idiot to get someone else involved in my own problems.
chanyeol doesn't deserve that and jungmin definitely doesn't either.
its my fault.
i made assumptions about jungmin using me and not actually wanting me when truthfully that wasn't the case.
i felt so guilty at that moment that i just broke down. i couldn't hold a smile or any act anymore.
"baby? hey, what's wrong? why are you crying jooniebear?"
and there he goes.
after hearing the nickname roll of chanyeol's tongue, jungmin left. he couldn't stand hearing someone else call me that and it sounded weird to me too.
"chanyeol im so sorry but i need to go." i whispered and chanyeol's eyes saddened. "i know." he kissed my lips gently and then i stood up, following after jungmin.
it was hard to run while crying my eyes out but i did my best and made it work. i ignored all the adults yelling at me and asking me what happened as i ran outside.
jungmin was about to get in his car and my eyes widened.
"you won't!" i yelled and he stopped to look at me. "you won't leave." i said and jungmin closed his car door, hitting the top of his car in anger.
he wanted to leave but i knew he wouldn't.
i walked over to him and grabbed onto his shirt. "you're such an asshole, you know that right? why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to be with me, huh!? you're my best friend jungmin! we could've stayed that way if you never kissed me. we didn't have to go on those dates. why min? why did this happen?" i asked and jungmin pulled me into a hug, ignoring everything i just said.
"taejoon, i love you so much." jungmin whispered and i started crying harder when i felt his tears on my neck.
"i love you too jungmin. so fucking much its ridiculous."
taestan 💕 bts : hi— me :
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
what did you guys think of this chapter? i had to rewrite this like three times bc i wasn't happy with it but FINALLY i am :) hope you like it too 💜
