When You Know

2 - I've missed out on so much of your life, too.

"Hey, buddy," Ruben said gently, kneeling down in front of me to be level with my height, clearly unaffected by a little more mud and cut grass sticking to his strong, muscular legs, which were already filthy from being tackled in his game on more than one occasion. "I know we've already met and spent heaps of time together years ago, and that we've even spoken a little bit today already; but I think I should probably introduce myself properly. What do you think?"

I nodded because I didn't know what to say. Why am I so nervous? I'm never nervous. Sadie tells me all the time that I'm too confident for my own good.

He slowly held out his hand to me and said, "I'm Ruben. It is so nice to meet you again."

I shook his hand, obviously knowing that was the polite thing to do. "Hi Ruben, I'm Madden." He gasped a little and smiled at me, like he really meant it when he said that meeting me again was actually really nice. "You played a pretty good game today. Congratulations on the win."

That's something you say to people you just met again, isn't it? I assume it must be because his smile grew even wider, his white teeth bright against his bronze skin.

"Thanks, Madden. The first half kind of sucked, but the second wasn't so bad," Ruben said, chuckling a little. "Hey, um . . . I'm sorry for ambushing you out there, with what I said to you about kissing Sadie when you were a baby. It's true, of course—I did used to kiss her when you were little and still shared a bedroom with her. But I probably could have found a more appropriate way to say it, or at the very least a more appropriate time. I was just having some fun teasing Sadie, but I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable."

I think Tanner was right, and that he really must be a good person.

"Everyone else thought it was pretty funny, so that's okay," I replied.

"Not really, though. I heard you what you said about it being gross and I felt bad. I really don't want you to ever think I'm gross," he said kindly.

"I don't think you're gross, Ruben," I said, meaning every word. "If I have to see you kissing Sadie, however, then maybe I will. But Tanner said you still want to and that you're a good person, so I trust you won't be too gross."

Ruben laughed, his voice even deeper than Jet's was, making mine sound babyish by comparison. "How about I make you a deal? What if we wait for you to get to know me a bit first yourself, then you can make up your own mind about whether I'm a good person instead of just taking Tann's word for it? And if you think I am, and still give me your permission to kiss her again, then I'll try to figure out if she even wants to kiss me again; and if she does, I'll try my very best to make it as least gross as possible? What do you think?"

I thought it was both really weird and really nice that he was talking to me like this—like he actually wanted me to think for myself and trust that he was a good person on my own, and not just trust Tanner's judgment, even though they were best friends and he knew him better than anyone. That he respected Sadie and me both when it came to them maybe kissing again.

"You have a deal," I said, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to hug him, which I did without hesitation. It surprised Ruben and took him a second to hug me back; but when he finally did, his big, strong arms refused to let me go, and I didn't mind one bit.

"I know it's probably really strange to hear this, but I really have missed you so much, buddy. It's been far too long since you were last here in my arms, and it makes me so sad that you're, like, five times the size you were then. Maybe even six. I've missed out on so much of your life," he said, his tone suddenly serious and sad.