When You Know

36 - There's just one more thing, babe.

"Will one of you please tell me where the hell we're going?" Mum insisted after arguing us back and forth the whole way to the airport.

Jet and I stayed at Tanner and Morgan's house last night after the wedding to give Mum and Ruben some time alone as husband and wife. Jet enlightened me as to what that time alone would entail on our way home with the Scotts, and I thought I was going to puke all over Willow's car seat next to me. I really didn't want to think about my mother and now-father having sex. Jet and the Scotts, however, found it highly entertaining, or maybe it was more that they were entertained by the way my face screwed up whenever I thought about it.

Tanner drove us home early in the morning so we had time to pick up our bags and drive to the airport to catch our flight. So far, all we had told Mum was that she needed to pack for hot weather and swimming, but she knew absolutely no details otherwise. Ruben, Jet and I had managed to book the whole honeymoon, organise the passports and keep it a secret from her, just as we planned.

She had no idea that we were about to board a plane to Honolulu.

"Relax, Wifey. You'll find out soon enough," said Ruben, leaning forward over the centre console from his middle seat in the back between Jet and I, and rubbing her shoulder affectionately.

"I can't relax! I don't know where I'm going and I was rushed out of my house without a coffee. You know I don't function in the mornings without it," she said, trying to shrug him off but looking back at him adoringly as always, despite her snappy tone.

"Well, maybe if you hadn't kept yourself so preoccupied this morning, you might have had time to make yourself a coffee," suggested Tanner from the driver's seat, causing Jet to burst out laughing beside Ruben, and Mum's head to whip towards Tanner with a facial expression that would have turned my hair white with terror instantly had it been directed at me.

"Must you really say these things in front of the kids? Jesus, Tanner," reproached Mum, a smile hiding underneath all her annoyance.

"What? They're not stupid. They know what sex is. Everyone does it. Hell, I had sex with Morgan this morning before I woke them up to bring them home to you." Oh, my, god, ew!

"I needed to know that as much as I needed the detailed play-by-play you gave me the first time you guys had sex," said Mum sarcastically.

"Oh, you want details? Well, it started off with Morgan wrapping her—" started Tanner, but he was cut off with a swift punch to the ribs from Mum.

"You know I won't hesitate to do that again," said Mum sternly, effectively putting an end to Tanner's joking about sex.

It was silent for a while before Tanner braved talking again, words spilling out hard and fast before Mum could cut him off again. "Should have done a better job at pleasing your woman this morning, Rubes. I think you're going to be in for a long flight with Crankypants here, you poor bastard."

Ruben, Jet and Tanner erupted in fits of laughter, Tanner unaffected by Mum's pinching of his ribs as he drove.

He pulled off the freeway on the airport exit and began driving towards the international departures terminal, Ruben, Jet and I holding our breath in the back seat waiting for Mum to realise what was happening.

Her eyes darted to the signs around her, all of which now read of international, not domestic departures, to Tanner in the driver's seat, and finally back to us boys in the back, patiently waiting for her to say something.

"What is happening right now?" she directed at Jet, knowing that he would be the first of us three to crack under Mum's pressure, followed closely by Ruben who was a sucker to her at the best of times.