Remembering Sunday.

I Will Always Remember Sunday.

I drifted in and out of consciousness all night until the morning light rolled in, Alex's soft snores drifting into my ears, his arms wrapped around me, his face looked so perfect when he slept, his fringe falling in his face and making me smile, why couldn't I just say Alex I love you, thinking back to last night to what I said, I told him I didn't believe in love I bet hes determined to call my bluff, because when you look at me you can tell I'm madly in love just like Kara with Rian and Rian with me...

I wiggled my way out of Alex's arms and lent over giving him a soft kiss, he kissed back slightly in his sleep and then rolled over, I got one good look at him to keep me going until I came home later. 

I pulled on my old black converse from the floor and put on one of Alex's hoodies smelling it slightly as I zipped it up, I walked out of the bedroom not looking back because I knew I would cave and end up bring him with me to my dad's but I had to do this alone. 

I took down the last step and quietly made my way to the door, mustering all my courage ready to go to my dads, I could do this. 

"Ella?" I turned around to a fully dressed sleepy Rian stood in the door way I walked towards him and pulled him in for a big hug, missing the feel of his arms. 

"You okay?" He looked down at me our faces inches away from each other, every fiber of me wanted to lean up and kiss him, and for that I suck. 

"Yeah I'm fine gonna go for a walk and clear my head tho" I smiled at him so he knew I was okay, and I was I always felt safe In his arms but I couldn't bring him today I have to go alone, in case he hurt them too. 

"Oh hang on Ill get my coat and come with you" He reached his arm down to his jacket on the bottom of the stairs, I shook my head and pulled his arm back. 

"I have to do this alone I have a lot to think about" And with that I just snapped I crashed my lips against his taking him by surprise, he lifted me up in his arms, my hands going behind his head and pulling my lips closer to him, kissing him and kissing Alex were two different things they say kiss the guy and you'll know if your meant to be with them but they both felt amazing. 

I pulled away from him letting him place me on my feet again, he brushed my fringe out of my face and tucked it behind my ear, I let him take my hand in his, the big smile from his goofy face, lighting up the room. 

"I told you I had shit to think about" He nodded his head and walked me to the door, opening it for me and watching as I walked up the path and down the street. 

"I love you Ell" He called after me my heart sunk again, I love him too I just cant bring myself to say it. 

"I know" It was a lame reply but it was the best I had, well at least all this shit gave me something to think about during the walk back to my house. 

I was here after the slowest walk ever I was here, I placed my hand on the door knob that familiar wish I didn't have to go in sensation washing over me, I shook it off and opened up the door, no sign of my dad at all, I ran straight to my room and bolted the door knowing I had a lucky escape. 

I spent 15 minutes packing, everything important first into my backpack, my passport and legal documents, the money I had saved up almost 2000 dollars, a clean t'shirt jeans and underwear just incase I have to run out and cant grab my suitcase and of course my song book, then I threw the entire contence of my wardrobe into the suitcase zipping it up, I could leave all my other material possessions, I grabbed my makeup and threw that In my suitcase, I was ready to walk out of this place and live with Alex, not something I thought I would be saying at 17. 

I gingerly opened the door to my bedroom and ran down the stairs carrying my suitcase with me, I was so close to the door with no sign of him, the only thought going through my head being that this was too easy, my hand went out to turn the handle but it was locked I looked around for the key in a frenzy pushing the backpack higher on my back, but no luck, that's when I heard the clumsy footsteps.