Accidentally on Purpose

Chapter Fifty

Late November, 2010

Leann told me to stay in her room, and I could tell that she was trying her best to keep me and Cole distracted from the noise downstairs.

I played along, pretending not to notice the sound of yelling and glass breaking and the sound of my mom crying, for Cole's sake. He was too young to understand anyway, and he was happily playing with the Lego pieces Mom just bought him last week. Leann and I taught him what to do with the pieces, and he focused on that instead of asking what the noise downstairs was.

I heard the sound of the door slamming shut with force, and both Leann and I jumped where we were sitting while our brother remained unfazed. When a long silence immediately followed, she swallowed her dry throat and told me to go to my room, and I obediently did as told.

I locked the door behind me and lay down on my bed with a sigh. I wondered when these loud nights would stop. Nobody would tell me and Cole what was wrong, and while Cole was too young to understand anyway, it was slowly driving me crazy not knowing anything that was happening.

I eventually fell asleep to the sound of my own breathing, but it wasn't too long until I was rudely woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. With a grunt, I sat up and answered the call.

"Hello?" I groggily said.

"Han-nnnah!" a familiar voice slurred over the phone. "'Sup?" I sighed as I heard him hiccup a few times. "It's a daaang good night to be out!"

"Tony, where the hell are you?"

"Don't know, don't care," he waved it off. "But youuu should be hereee! Everyone is here and we're—" hiccup "—having a loooot of fuuuuun! Wooo! Yeah, that's sick!" he laughed to himself. "That girl just jumped into the pool!" Hiccup. "Can you belie—" hiccup "—ve it? It's cold as fuck! That girl is fucking nuts!"

"I'm telling Mom," I threatened.

He giggled into the phone. "Don't you fucking—" hiccup, "—dare. "I already ruined Thanksgiving and broke her favorite china set today. She'd murder me."

"Why don't you go find someone who can drive you home?" I told him patiently. "It's two a.m. You shouldn't be out this late."

"But I don't know aaanyone, Hannah," he said in a tone that made me imagine him pouting as he spoke. "I need you to come and—and get me," he said.

"I'll call a cab for you?"

"No, no. I don't want—I'll throw up, I think. Is there even a cab around here at this hour? Please. I just need you." He sighed. "I'm so sleepy and so drunk and I want to sleep."

I sighed. "But I can't drive."

"Yesss you can!" he argued. "I taught you how! I've thought everything I know about driving a car and you're so good at it."

"I can't, Tony. You know I don't have a permit. What if I get stopped by a cop? Then mom will murder me.""

"But you know how to drive," he whined. "Please come here. I nee—I need you."

My voice softened. "I'll go get Leann, alright? She'll pick you up—"

"No! No! No!" he whined again, and I ran a hand down my face. "Please, Hannah. I need you. You. Not Leann. She's gunna talk a lot and her voice will hurt my head. You won't do that to me. I know you won't. You love me. Nobody else in the fucking house does. I only have you."

That's not true. I bit my lip and thought it over as Tony kept on rambling drunkenly over the phone. I closed my eyes and stood up, hating myself for what I was about to do. But he needed me, and he had always been there for me when I needed him, and this was the least I could do.