Ruminant

Bonus: Minato's Apprentice AU - 1

Minato's Apprentice - I

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Summary: Where Shikari's a little bit older and manages to become even more terrifying after weedling an apprenticeship from the future Yondaime Hokage.

Note: This wouldn't be included in the original verse, but made only to satisfy an interesting request.

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1.

When Minato first met Nara Shikari, it went like this.

...

..

.

"Spar with me." A little girl demanded imperiously as she looked at Minato down on her nose.

Maybe, he heard that wrong.

"What?" Minato asked, tilting his head confusedly.

"Herbivore." The little girl side-eyed him judgementally. "It means to fight," She continued slowly as if speaking to a child. "if you don't know what spar means. Fight me."

Minato raised a brow, amused at the child's precociousness. "Why in the world would I ever do that?"

The little girl grimaced and avoided his eyes. "A pervert recommended you to me."

There was silence as Minato let this sunk in.

"What." He deadpanned.

She pursed her lips and didn't respond.

"You don't mean Jiraiya-sensei?" Minato sputtered. "You're like - what? Four? When did you even met him?"

The little girl scowled. "I was...biting him to death for peeking on the bathhouse."

Minato groaned, inwardly lamenting where he went wrong. He apparently did at some point when his sensei degenerated into something like this while he wasn't looking. "He's peeking on little girls now?"

"Get your head of the gutter." She said, disgusted. "He's peeking on one of my..." The little girl sneered. "relatives and I was forced to take drastic action."

Minato looked down at her in confusion. "Drastic action?"

"His giggling was irritating." She turned away. "He was strong though, bafflingly enough-"

"You use a lot of big words." Minato commented.

"-but he escaped before the fight ended." She continued blandly, ignoring Minato. "I tried to find him, but I was informed that he was in a mission outside the village. I remembered your name coming up when the man was begging for mercy after being squashed by my relatives' bodies."

"So you went and find me just because of that." Minato filled in the blanks dryly.

She tilted her chin up stubbornly. "I'm already six, you disgusting herbivore, but my relatives are coddling me too much. I needed the practice."

"I'm not the person for that."

The little girl scowled, her cheeks puffing up. "I just want a sparring partner."

Minato sighed, rubbing the back of his neck resignedly. "Who's your mother, child?"

Her eyes sharpened. "Nara Yoshino."

"You're a Nara." He said flatly.

The little girl stared at him blankly, uncomprehending.

"And-" Minato paused. "You're my goddaughter."

"I am?" She cocked her head, before nodding - pleased. "Well, that solved the issue, didn't it?"

"I can't train you," Minato shook his head. "Yoshino-san would skin me if anything happened to you."

His goddaughter looked at him incredulously. "My mother was the one who suggested I approach you in the first place."

"I already have an apprentice." Minato protested.

His goddaughter tilted her head, glancing at him skeptically. "I don't want to be your apprentice."

Minato winced. "Don't you want dolls instead?"

She looked at him in disdain. "Do you want to get hurt?"

Minato probably deserved that.

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"You do know I was his favorite student, right?" Kakashi mentioned casually as he sat on Shikari's couch.

Shikari looked at him blandly as she sipped her tea, already used to the silver-haired man's occasional unwanted visits in her house.

"I mean. I had seniority rule. I was legal. I was the first, the adopted son." Kakashi rambled on. "I'm obviously," He emphasized. "the favorite."

The dark-haired teen rolled her eyes and brought her tea down. "If that helps you sleep at night, then be my guest, herbivore." She said demurely.

Kakashi glared at her balefully. "It's true."

Shikari smirked.

"You only manipulated him to be your teacher, you witch." Kakashi sniffed. "I, on the other hand, didn't need that."

Shikari shook her head delicately before standing up. She vanished before Kakashi could blink.

...

..

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"That wasn't fair, sensei." Kakashi blurted after he, along with his team, debriefed the Yondaime on the last S-ranked mission they were assigned in.

"What?" Minato looked up from his stack of paperwork, befuddled. "Kakashi? I thought the mission went well."

Kakashi looked at his former sensei blankly. "I'm not talking about that. It's just-" He shook his head in disbelief. "Why? What were you thinking, sensei?"

Minato put down his pen, concerned. "Kakashi?"

"Why did you teach the harpy the Hiraishin?" Kakashi griped, triggered. "The Hiraishin, Kami. I would have understood if it was Obito - he needed all the help he could get-"

"I'm right here, Kakashi." Obito murmured wryly from beside him.

"But Shikari?" He continued incredulously, ignoring Obito. "That woman was too overpowered for her own good. What in the world were you thinking sensei?"

"But I didn't-" Minato visibly paled. "I didn't teach her that Kakashi."

"What." Kakashi stopped in his tracks.

Minato grimaced. "Are you sure?"

Kakashi nodded jerkily, his eyes narrowed.

Minato rubbed his face resignedly. "Let's just hope that the Elemental Nations wouldn't break down-

"Too late." Rin put in her two cents cheerfully. "I heard from Sakura that Shikari was visiting every village she could, so she could mark the place and start disciplining it."

"Fuck."

"Language, sensei." Obito and Rin chorused, amused.

Kakashi looked at his teammates disbelievingly. "You're not worried? This-" He gestured with an arm - moving it in a way as if it would convey the magnitude of the issue as he saw it as. "this is an emergency."

"You're just jealous, Kakashi." Rin drawled dryly.

Kakashi pouted under his mask. "I'm not!" He protested.

Obito laughed before jumping off the window, Rin not far from his heels.

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Author's Note: Damn, I love suggestions like this. It keeps my muse going lol. Buy me coffee? Search AlunaGray in ko-fi's website. If not, well- I would love to have reviews. Also, shameless self-promotion. I just posted gnawing off the remains - another Kyoya crossover but set in AOT as Armin Arlert like last week, maybe? Check it out, if you want.