Ruminant

ii

2.

When Kyoya got his consciousness back in this new life, he admittedly had tried out several unconventional...methods to get back to his previous body and break the illusion he was supposedly under in.

In his defense, although he dislikes Mukuro, that detestable pineapple-herbivore, the man has claws of his own that gradually sharpened as time passed by. His damning illusions were brutally potent and gained frightening subtlety that sometimes one would wonder and doubt about reality even after breaking away from the pineapple's hold.

Not that he surpassed Kyoya though.

He's amazing.

(Carnivores are naturally superior in every way possible, after all. How can pineapples like that shit even compare?)

But to get back to the point, as far as Kyoya remembered, he was just peacefully resting after a particularly challenging hit and then...a series of blurs.

"Yoshino, dear. Is it just me or is our three-months-old daughter actually punching herself?" Shikaku said tentatively as he watched Kyoya wriggle on her crib.

"It's just you, dear," Yoshino replied absentmindedly as she arranged Kyoya's nappies.

-----

"Shikaku! What happened to Shikari?! I just left you two for a moment and now look at her! She's covered in the remains of her crib!" Yoshino screeched as she got back from preparing some bottled milk. Her daughter would sometimes get this adorable scrunched look on her face whenever Yoshino tried to breastfeed her and would steadfastly ignore the nipple offered. Apparently, the little mite was stubborn like her father. Knowing Naras, Yoshino just wisely gave up because, ironically enough, they are the personification of the word "troublesome" they're always muttering about.

"What? I didn't do anything." Shikaku protested half-heartedly as he stretched up from his nap. He did a double-take however when he saw the state of the furniture his six-month-old daughter was put in.

"How is that even possible?" He said, flabbergasted as he observed how the crib was dismantled almost methodically with surprisingly no amount of damage to their now pouting daughter.

"You tell me." Yoshino huffed and proceeded to get her baby away. "Men," She sneered. "They're more trouble than they're worth, Shikari-chan."

-----

"Oi, Shikaku. What happened? Did you do something?" Inoichi whispered discreetly as he saw the baby carried by Yoshino look balefully down her...legs?

"No," Shikaku bit out exasperatedly - his brows starting to twitch at the implied accusation. "Fuck, why is everyone blaming for this?"

Inoichi snickered under his breath.

"Did something happen, Yoshino?" Chouza interjected kindly.

"Nothing," Yoshino replied worriedly. "We just bathed, the same as usual, and she suddenly burst into tears after looking between her legs." She bounced her daughter on her arms soothingly. "Shikari-chan. It's okay. Do you want to play with your doe plushie instead?"

-----

Yes. Kyoya would take all of those memories to the grave and far, far from the surface.

If that Mukuro-shit knew, he'll probably bust his gut laughing.

Piece of pineapple shit.