Chapter 5

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Disclaimer: I own none of john greens amazing ideas

I dreamt of stars. It was amazing; I dreamt I was just looking at stars. Like there was nothing else but me and the sky. Then my alarm decided to ruin it. I shut it off and then bolted upright because last time I checked I was outside with Augustus Waters watching the stars. I was sitting in my bed still in my clothes from last night. I sighed and got up to get ready for my classes. That's when I noticed a paper on my night stand.

My dearest Hazel Grace,

I am very sorry I had to leave you last night but your parents came out after you fell asleep and politely kicked me out after I carried you here. I just wanted to tell you last night was amazing and the only star I noticed was you. I also wanted to tell you that yes we are all metaphorically sick with life and yes there is no cure, But let me tell you, it is far from sucking.

- Yours forever Augustus Waters

God he was amazing. I got ready and I was soon sitting at my dining room table eating eggs on toast. I couldn't stop smiling all that day because I kept thinking "Forever Yours". He just makes me feel more amazing that I probably deserve to feel. Once I got home I became even happier because I realized it was Friday and that meant that Augustus and I could have another night under the stars. This time without my parents "politely kicking" him out. I went to my room and waited for Augustus to call me. In fact I was still awaiting his call when I heard a knock on the door. I want down stairs and looked through the window to see who it was.

My smile widened. On my front porch was the one and only Augustus Waters with tulips and a picnic basket. I stopped staring and open the door. Augustus Looks at me and smiles while handing me the tulips. "Hazel Grace would you want to go on a picnic with me? He says. I smile the biggest smile I can manage and say yes. I walk inside quickly to put the tulips in a vase and to write a note to my parents. I put the tulips in my room in a little vase and quickly change out of sweats and into a faded blue dress.

I deem myself ready after I brush my hair and put on some vans. I walk back to the kitchen where I write my parents a small note telling them I have my cell phone and that I'm with Augustus. Once I finish my small note I walk back to the door where Augustus is still patiently waiting for me. "Hazel Grace are you ready?" He asks as I shut and lock my door. "Only if you deem so" I say giggling. He chuckled to. We walk to his car and he opens the door for me. What a gentleman. He gets in the driver's seat and shuts his door.

"Seat belts Hazel Grace because I would rather not jerk you forward to much" he says as he buckles himself into he car. "You don't have to tell me twice" I say buckling myself into the seat as well. He starts the car and backs out of my driveway. Needless to say he didn't hit my trash can this time. He hit my neighbors. They're mean people anyways.

We start down the road to the destination that is still is a mystery, to me at least. Augustus Waters driving has needless to say not gotten better since our last drive. I think he has road anxiety or something because there is always this fear in his eyes when he stops at a stop sign. Or light. Or anywhere. "Augustus are you okay" I ask him getting generally concerned. "Me oh Hazel Grace I'm grand" He says not very convincingly. I think he realizes that I could tell he was lying because he eventually pulls into a little ditch on the side of the road.

He turns off the car and finally looks at me. "Two years ago" he says to me. "What Augustus that doesn't-"I say before he cuts me off. "Two years ago my girlfriend was killed because of me" he finally says. "Augustus" I say putting my hand on his. He doesn't grab it but he doesn't reject it either. He takes a deep breath and looks at the sky through the windshield.

"She was talking to me and I got distracting listening to her" He says. "I just barely made a stop sign when this drunken guy rams into the side of the car that she sat on" he says with tears in his eyes. "Right before it happened she looked at me like she knew it would be the last time and she just smiled this really sweet smile and then a second later she's in my arms no-not breathing and I-I couldn't do-do anything to save her" He says breaking down right there in the car.

He starts hitting the steering wheel. "I should have died she didn't deserve it" He says. "Augustus w-was her name Caroline mathers?" I ask tearing up because I hate seeing him broken down and crying. "How'd you-"He says but I interrupt him. "I was looking at your page a couple days ago you still had some pictures of her" I say feeling guilty because well I was kind of stalking his personal life.

We just sat there in silence that wasn't awkward but painful. It hurt me a lot when Augustus wiped his tear soaked cheeks and when he looked at me. That's when I broke down. I didn't know why I did but I did. I just felt so guilty for looking at Augustus' page and then asking him why he had trouble driving. It pained me the most though to know that I did this.

I made him cry and I caused him this and that was the problem. I don't like hurting people and no one really should but I really do hate hurting people. I also cry when other people cry so you can just imagine how I was with Augustus. Except Augustus just stopped crying and now he was holding me to his chest in an awkward way. I say this because we are hugging in his car in between the center console and it wasn't exactly comfortable but more so comforting.

"Its not your fault" I whisper and he just nods into my shoulder. After a while we both calm down. I realized that we had been there for a good three hours just crying. Augustus finally gaining his composure gave me a crooked smile and started the car. "Off we go" He says as If nothing had just pull out of the ditch and head off into capital S Somewhere.

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