Chapter 18

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 "What?" I say to the man who is lacking a Peter Vanhouten aura of sophistication. "Who.The.Hell.Are.You" he repeats then adds "you incompetent delinquent". Well I mean I wasn't expecting a suit and tie or anything but I really wasn't expecting a man who probably can't see his toes, and who appears to have spilled beer on his very off white button down, which needless to say is missing some buttons. 

"Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters" I say and he just kind of squints at me, dear god I think he's hung-over. "We've been corresponding via email?" Augustus says and he still looks very confused. All of a sudden a female voice comes from inside the house, becoming louder and louder as she approaches the door. 

"Peter" she says then pops into view coming from what must be his kitchen. "These are the kids that read your book" she says and he makes a bit of a grumbling sound. "I don't have any comments about my book" he says and then shuts the door in me and Augustus's face. I am the first one to talk after the first slam in the face. 

"Augustus Waters" I say and he turns towards me. "Our favorite author is a complete and total ass" I say and he just nods. "A complete and utter ass Hazel Grace" He says and I nod. That's about the moment when the door reopens and the women we saw earlier pops into view. "Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters?" she asks and Augustus nods his head. 

"I am so very sorry about peter, he can be a bit forgetful sometimes" she said and I nod. Only I don't really understand how someone with the mind who wrote AIA would forget about this sort of thing, the man's priorities are definitely not in place. At least not in this moment. "He must have just forgotten that you were coming today" she says and then shakes her head, "he's goofy like that".

 Me and Augustus just kind of stand there awkwardly for a few moments until she smiles and opens the door wider. "Oh my" she says then laughs, "How rude of me to not invite you both in" she then shuffles away from the front door and leaves it wide open for Augustus and I to me to follow her suit. We both follow her into what I am assuming is his living room where he is sitting on a plastic covered couch.

 I attempt to walk over to him to greet his properly but in the process I slipped on a garbage bag and fell face first. I just so happened to have landed right in front of this strange mans feet, which did not smell to pleasant. "So we meet again" I say trying to make a joke out of an incredibly awkward situation. "Unfortunately so" he says and the woman (who I am now assuming is Lidewig) slightly gasps. "Peter" she says "that was rude".

 "I am a rude man" he says then takes another sip of his drink. I get off of the floor and offer my hand for him to shake. He looks down at my hand then at my face then back to my hand. "Excuse me for asking but who are you two again?"

 he asks but there's no actual question just cold sarcasm. "These are the two lovely people that have read your book and wanted to know more about it" Lidewig says and smiles. "There's nothing more to that retched book" he says then adds "I'm not even sure why I wrote it". "But there has to be more" I say then Augustus grabs my arm gently telling me to back down.

 "I mean you must have thought of something else to write after those pages ended" I ask and he shakes his head. "Why would I when they cease to exist after those last pages" he says and now my patience is wearing down to the core. "There's got to be something" I say and Augustus makes his grip tighter. "Hazel, just stop her probably doesn't even remember writing it" he says and now Peter looks up.

 "Of course I remember writing it" he says then adds "it's what started my alcoholism" then he laughs this deep guttural laugh and it makes me sick. "You paid for 3 people to come to Amsterdam just to discuss the fact that you haven't even thought about your book" I say then he turns to Lidewig. 

"We paid for them to come here?" he asks and she nods saying "You did". This just makes it even better. I came here for answers and all I found out was that my favorite author is a drunk asshole that probably can't even bathe himself. I came here so that I could finally have some set answers and not just what's been swimming around in my mind for the past 4 years. I wanted this, no I needed this and this drunk fool won't give it to me, and that is the finally straw.

 "Fuck you" I say and grab Augustus arm this time. "We'll be going now" I say and walk out of Peter Van Houtens house, hopefully for the last time. "Hazel" Augustus says as I'm dragging him along the busy side walk. "Hazel" he says again but I just keep pulling. "Hazel Grace" he says finally getting my attention. I stop pulling him and he turns me around to face him.

"Okay?" he asks and I just collapse onto his chest because I hate this. I hate how Peter was such an ass and I hate not having answers and I hate not having Augustus Waters. That's when I start to cry onto his chest probably staining his shirt. "I'm sorry" I sob as he holds onto me, in the middle of the street, while people are just going about their everyday business. 

Expect it doesn't feel like that, it feels like I'm back in that small little third space with Augustus and It feels so amazing. It feels better than amazing it feels right. It feels like this is how it's supposed to be and in that moment I realize that god he's amazing. He beautiful and philosophical l and he makes every part of my being ache. 

That's when I decide right then and there, in the streets of Amsterdam, that I was going to kiss Augustus Waters. I took my head out of his chest and looked up at him, looking down at me, and I leaned in and I swear I've never seen that boy happier.

Why hello there it's me, Kailee. I wanted to give you my sincerest apology for not updating, I've been busy and I know that's no excuse but I'm still going to use it. Anyway I don't really have a set schedule anymore for updating for be prepared for like chapters at four in the morning or something, any ways I hope you enjoyed This chapter and I know they didn't go to the Anne frank house and I'm sorry for that, maybe they'll find their way back there at the end of the trip *wink , but I digress and I just wanted to say hello, good bye and I am so terribly sorry.

e|]

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