Mute Boy » Ashton Irwin

Twenty Three : Wish You Were Here

Ashton POV

Someone way smarter than me would have figured out that assuming is a sure-fire way to disaster. I don't want to assume, but seeing Luke walk out of Bonnie's car at 3 in the morning was not something you see everyday. I was up on the roof as usual listening to Pink Floyd, and out of no where she pulls up a few houses down. At first I thought she came for me, but I was dead wrong when I saw Luke getting out her car.

My plan is to not think about it. During school, we never mentioned it and neither did Luke. Most of the time we talked about our first gig tomorrow night. I wish I can say that I'm excited but I'm more nervous than thrilled. I'm not exactly sure if I'm nervous for the show or nervous that Bonnie and Luke are seeing each other in secret.

I want to tell her how I feel, but I know I wouldn't be able to hold it together with, I never do. She makes me feel exposed in a way I don't feel with anyone else. Normally I like it. But I can't imagine what she'd say if her and Luke are hooking up. Maybe Bonnie finally realised what a freak I really am. My constant jitters, and my emotional breakdowns, she finally got tired of me.

I can't imagine Bonnie thinking of me the same way I think about her. I can't imagine she'd let me haunt the edges of her thoughts until I was somehow apart of her.

I think about this as I walk home alone. I couldn't bare to walk side by side with Luke, so I made an excuse that had to stay after school and took the long way home. When I get into the house the boys are in the living room playing video games, the nauseating smell of burn popcorn fills my nose.

I make it upstairs without throwing up, or talking to anyone. Something about Luke being with Bonnie, has made me want to be by myself.

I figure if I plow through my math and history homework tonight, I'll have all of it done for class through Monday, even though it's only Thursday night. I don't know what shape I'm going to be in tomorrow night, or what's going to happen, and it helps to be prepared.

I tackle math first. Find X : m<AOB=6x+5, m<BOC=4x-2, m<AOC=8x+21.

My bedroom door opens but I try to ignore it. Down stairs a sound of multiple gun fires echo from the video game. Calums and Michaels laughter ache in my stomach.

Luke hangs over my shoulder; I fight to stay lost in numbers. "Come downstairs, it's just video games." he says.

<AOB and <BOC are adjacent angles, but something doesn't add up.

"Ash. Come on, take a break."

"Can't." I say. X's flip over and over in my head.

Luke spins my chair around to face him. I have to shake the numbers out of my brain.

"Whats your GPA?" he asks.

"3.954," I answer without thinking.

"Really?" He's so shocked he actually takes a step back. Even my own brothers forget I'm smart. I nod.

"You're a freak. You know that right?" But he's smiling. "I think you've earned time off for a game session."

"I can't. I have to get this all done by tonight." I'm actually itching to get back to it. My thumb is twitching and my head is already halfway back into my homework.

"When's your..." He picks up my book and looks at the spine. "Calculus due?"

"Monday," I admit.

"So why do you need to do it all tonight?"

"Leave me alone!" I yell, then cover my mouth with my handd. I never yell. I never yell at Luke. "Sorry," I say, making sure my voice is quiet. "Sorry."