Mute Boy » Ashton Irwin

Eight : Ear to Ear

I can't figure out if my room is too hot or too cold, too quiet or too loud. Everything in my head is clumping together. Memories of my mom, confusion with Bonnie, college in a few months. All I know is I'm still awake at 4:30am Monday morning, and restless, and it looks like I'm going to stay that way. I don't want to wake up anyone so I wander down to the kitchen. I also don't want food, but I don't know where else to go. I just sit at the table and stare at the wall.

I sit in the kitchen so long I lose track of time. The light snaps on.

"Hey, man." Michael opens the fridge, grabs the milk and pours himself a bowl of cereal. He gestures with the carton, but I shake my head.

As he puts it back in the fridge, he asks, "Another nightmare?"

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"Hmm." He takes a spoon full of his cereal as he walks over and takes a seat next to me.

"How come you don't have a girlfriend?" I ask. I wondered about this for a while now. I mean, Michael is sixteen. Even if he isn't a braniac, he works hard in school. He doesn't even get detention as much as he used to. He's got the whole punk rock look going. He has friends.

Also I've heard girls whispering in the halls about him. About all the boys actually, even scrawny little Luke. They stare as they walk by, then laugh. But I don't think they're laughing at them. Sometimes I think they're trying to get there attention.

Michael takes another spoon full, milk spilling from the side of his mouth, "Why? You know someone?" He jokes.

"Just wondering."

"Well.." I hear the pause in his voice as he chooses an answer. "First off, my parents were assholes, they never made relationships look very attractive."

I chuckled at his light humour. Sometimes I forget I'm not the only one with a troubled past. "I'm sorry." I apologised.

"It's alright," he replies lazily and lifts the bowl to his mouth slurping what's left of the milk. "What about you?" He asks. "Ever thought about getting yourself a girlfriend?"

His question freezes my brain like when you eat ice cream too quickly. He's got to be joking. "You're out of your mind," I say.

"So what's her name?" He asks with that know-it-all look.

I consider pretending I have no idea what he's taking about, but I brought this up. At some level I must want to talk about it right? "It's not like that," I say. Do I believe it? I don't even know.

"Then what's it like?" He's baiting me, and I can see by the glint in his eye that he's enjoying watching me squirm.

I sigh, I'm being taunted by someone younger than me. Now I wish I hadn't brought it up at all. "Nothing, it's stupid. There's just this girl."

His face lightens up like a child that found a treasure chest, "That girl!" He points at me, "Bailey.. No Bon.. Bonnieeee!" He nodded his head, "She's hot!"

I nodded. It's nice talking about her. It's strange. I began to think how she smells like lilacs I used to have in my moms window sill. I think about how she says my name, so music like. I feel like I could fly on the sound her words make.

"You like her a lot, don't you?"

I nodded once again, "It doesn't matter though, she's got a shitty boyfriend anyways."

Michael stands up and puts the empty bowl in the sink, "Like shitty shitty? Or shitty cause he has your girl."

"She's not my girl." I said in a sharp tone.