A Proscriptive Relationship

:A Proscriptive Relationship: 41

May I suggest playing the video to the right while reading this? (: 

I was having trouble decided between that song and Do You Know by Enrique Iglesias. 

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The sky above me grumbled threateningly as my feet slapped against the black asphalt. My lungs were burning, but I kept running. The streets were empty and quiet, making the despairing thoughts in my head loud and clear.

I had been used.

Mr. Heywood had used me.

I was a replacement.

Tears of anger, embarrassment, sadness, and helpless welled up in my eyes, a few spilling over, making my vision l blurry. I tried to hold in my sobs, but they managed to come out as I gasped for the breath I desperately needed. Running with my chest already feeling constricted wasn't the smartest of ideas.

Suddenly I choked on my own sob and I stopped, coughing violently. When I was done coughing I looked up to realize I was in front of the park. My mouth went dry at the sight of the sign. If I was near the park, that meant I was near the downtown area.

Anxiety suddenly took over all my feelings and I spun around in a circle, my eyes wary. Great. Now I was going to be paranoid. Figuring it'd be safest in a public park, I entered the gates and started jogging down the path that led to the other entrance of the park, further away from the downtown. It was better being safe than sorry.

I collapsed on one of the benches by the pond, breathing heavily. A slight breeze ruffled my hair and blew some of it into my face. I kept it there, lying back on the bench and gazing at the sky. Barely any stars were visible through the ominous looking clouds that hung in it. Another low grumble of thunder filled my ears.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. After a moment of hesitation I pulled it out and looked at it. It was a text from Mr. Heywood. My chest clenched again and I quickly deleted the message. I couldn't handle talking to him.

Part of me knew I should have let him explain. But how could I when he kept the fact that his ex-girlfriend had the same name as me and looked almost exactly like me! Why did he lie about her name? What else did he lie about? About what he said the other night? More tears sprung to my eyes and I rubbed them away furiously.

"I'm such an idiot," I whispered, a dry smile appearing on my face. "I should have known..."

Haley, Holly. "You never stop loving someone." The yearbook picture. The guilty expression on Mr. Heywood's face. It was all too obvious! I was such an idiot! I grabbed my hair and pulled it as hard as I could, wincing in pain. Stupid!

Now tears were falling freely as another rumble of thunder echoed across the sky. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, letting my sobs finally escape my lips. Why me? What did I do? It hurt. It hurt so much it was hard to breathe.

"I love him," I sniveled, clenching my fists. "This isn't fair!"

I hated it. I hated it! I hated Mr. Heywood! I hated Holly! I hated everything. I hated myself especially for falling for his sly ways. Did he not mean anything he said? No. I shook my head. He had to mean at least some of the things, didn't he?

My phone vibrated again and this time I ignored it completely. If Mr. Heywood was worried about me, he could worry. It went off again, and this time it was a phone call. Irritated, I picked up the phone to reject the call but my eyes widened in surprise when I realized that the called I.D read Lance.

But Lance's cell phone was still with Shawn. With a shaking hand I pressed the answer button and put the phone to my ear. "H-hello?"

"Holly! Long time no talk!"