Anathema

one - two faces

Anathema: someone or something that one vehemently dislikes, an abhorrence, abomination, accursed. Someone or something consigned to damnation or destruction.

"I can't sleep."

"Then shut up."

"But my thoughts are too loud."

"Count sheep."

"That doesn't work."

"I'll count for you."

"Please don't -"

"One sheep jumped off the cliff and splatted on the rocks blow. Two sheep jumped through a barbed wire fence and shredded all the skin off their bones. Three sheep jumped over the fence and were torn apart by ravenous wolves. Four sheep..."

Why did every conversation they had at night end up in death?

Tyler rolled over onto his side and covered his ears with his pillow, but he could still hear them talking. Couldn't they just shut up for one night? He stared intently as his alarm clock, watching the glowing red numbers change from 2:26 to 2:27.

"Twelve sheep jumped in front of a train and splattered across the engine. Thirteen sheep jumped off a bridge and drowned in the river. Fourteen sheep jumped into a conversation and realized that they were no longer wanted, so they went home and found a rope and -"

"Will you shut up?" Tyler demanded, turning onto his other side and propping himself up on his elbow to glare at them. The two other boys jerked in surprise, startled by his outburst.

"Hung themselves," the boy in the beanie finished under his breath.

"I'm exhausted, and I don't want to stay up listening to you discussing all the ways to kill a sheep, okay?" Tyler glared right at him, but he just stared blankly back.

"Clancy said he couldn't sleep," he said in a monotone.

Tyler glanced at the other boy, who was staring at nothing with wide eyes. His face was pale and he was shaking. "Great, now you've successfully scared him half to death and he'll be keeping me up all night. Thanks, Nico."

"No problem," he said, his eyes seeming to stare right into his soul.

Tyler tried to hold his gaze to prove his point, but eventually, he had to drop his eyes and lay back down, praying that he'd get at least a few minutes of sleep.

The room fell silent, only broken by the shrill ringing in his ears. As usual, now that death was on his mind, he couldn't get it out. He visualized each death Nico had so vividly described, but instead of sheep, he saw himself. It felt very dangerously casual, like wearing old jeans to Christmas Mass, and that made him nervous. He knew these thoughts weren't exactly normal, but they weren't affecting his day time, so he hadn't told his parents. He didn't know if he ever could, and that was the problem. If they got any worse, he could be in serious trouble.

His thoughts were interrupted by soft humming. It was barely audible, but it was just loud enough to keep him awake.

"Go to sleep, Clancy," Tyler grumbled.

"Sorry," the other boy whispered, but after only a few minutes, he started humming again.

"Knock it off. I'm trying to sleep."

"Sorry," Clancy said again. Tyler heard him shift his weight and take a few deep breaths, and knew that he was feeling anxious again. That meant he'd be up all night.

"Just focus on your breathing," Tyler muttered, closing his eyes, but now he was feeling the flutter of anxiety in his chest as well, like an eagle plucking another bird's feathers. He hated that he fed off of their emotions, but he couldn't stop it, so he tried to take his own advice, with no luck.

"Clancy's scared of the dark," Nico taunted, startling both of them.

"Everything's different at night," Clancy mumbled.

"Do you want me to turn on the light?" Tyler suggested.

"Yes." Clancy shifted again, tugging on the blanket.

"No. It's too bright," Nico said.

"Please?" he asked softly. "I'm -"

"No." Nico cut him off more forcefully this time. "It's too bright."

Tyler climbed out of bed and stumbled to the light switch, blindly feeling the wall until he found it. "He needs it to calm down."

He heard a soft thump, and then Clancy yelped softly. "No, it's okay," he said quickly. "I'm fine."

Tyler frowned, confused at the sudden change. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

Tyler thought he heard his voice crack, but he wasn't sure. Instead of dwelling on it, he just shrugged it off and climbed back into bed, though he suddenly felt suffocated by all the blankets. "Alright, but if you change your mind, you can go turn it on."

"Alright."

He didn't say anything for the rest of the night, but for some reason, Tyler still couldn't sleep.