Our hearts are a black hole

11 days

When I wake up,I call Phil.

Dan🔆  is calling 

Phil picked up.

"what?" Phil forced.

"jesus,sorry nevermind then,bye."

"no,no,sorry,I just woke up."

"oh..sorry."

"anywho,I found a paper,I know where she is." 

"oh.." Phil sounded disappointed.

"be ready in 10." 

"okay.." 

I hung up. I threw on some clothes and grabbed the paper,I packed a bag knowing that the prison was 4 states away.I grabbed my phone and keys and got in the car.

I texted Phil.

Dan: Hey pack a bag..

Phil: k.

I drive to pick up phil.

I honk my horn,Phil's mum comes outside,in the same pink robe and a face mask on.

"Hey,Phil is getting ready,he says you guys are going camping?"

God,camping Phil,really?

" yeah! we are going camping."

She paints a smile on her face.

"Yay! Okay,I packed you guys the cooler and got the tent ready for you guys in front of the shed."

I smile and nod.

"How about you come inside? It's kinda cold,wait until Phil comes down?"

"Oh,that's alright." 

"No,no,come in,lets chat."

Even though I really didn't want to go inside and chat with,Mrs.Lester,I still did.

I walk inside her kitchen,I scan it,it smells,nice.

"Have a seat." She says gesturing to the chair.

"Phil hasn't went camping in forever,I bet he is so excited,are you excited? i'm excited,sorry I just haven't let Phil out of my sight in a while,and it's nice to see he is finally able to go back out and go out with friends." She says grabbing my hand.

"You're helping him out alot,just know that,and thank you so much."

I smile at her,brightly,before looking back at her hand on top of mine.

Phil walks downstairs,brushing his teeth,messy hair,still wet,I guess he just go out of the shower,he doesn't have a shirt on,his skin is pale and beautiful,I admire it for a moment,then every feeling in my body goes numb.

He puts the shirt he had slung over his shoulder on,then rinses his mouth out.

"ready?" he asks.

I nod.

"Have fun Philly." His mum says hugging him,he hugs back,but sluggishly.

We load up the car.

"Really,Philly,camping? And thanks for making me have a chat with your mum..akaward."

"sorry.." 

I smile,faintly. 

We drive for several hours,until we get to a campground to stay at for the night,in the state. 

Phil sets up the tent,while I look at the edge of the cliff,at the bottom a ocean,just like the one we are going to jump off of,on April 7th.

Phil finishes the tent,he sits next to me. 

He places his hand on my shoulder.

"You ever wonder what will happen to our energy when we jump and hit the bottom?"

"No,nerd,and I don't want to think about it,it seems to...scary,i'm afraid that overthinking will make the situation..scarier than it already is."

"So.. you admit,your scared to do it?" I ask.

He looks over the edge. He nods.

"Me too."

"But,we don't flake out...right?"

I nod,weakly smiling.

I lay down on my stomach,I close my eyes,thinking about the day I will finally be happy,or maybe I won't maybe I won't feel anything,maybe my energy will just...not be there,maybe our energy spreads,its scary to think about,but I want nothing more than the day,me and Phil will hold hands,staring at the water at the bottom of the cliff,and tell each other our last words,our fears,everything before everything,disappears. 

I feel Phil put his hand on my back,I jump a little,but I don't move his hand off of my back,I just let it sit there.

"Goodnight Phil." 

"Goodnight Dan." He says laying down,but keeping his hand on my back.