motel | jjk

day three, four pm.

jeongguk

"tell me a secret."

i turned around slightly, watching as she swam towards me. when she was just a few inches away, she turned away and instead swam for the edge of the pool, pulling herself up and sitting down.

"a secret?" i raised my eyebrow. "i'm an open book."

"you most definitely are not," she shook her head, standing up and heading towards the chair.

watching miyeon dry off her hair with her towel, i felt a smile form on my lips. i couldn't deny she was gorgeous, and who wouldn't be attracted to her? it would be easy to let go of all other thoughts and focus on her alone. or at least it would be easy for anyone besides me.

"still can't believe you just threw yourself in the water," i commented, following after her and picking up my own towel, throwing it around my shoulders.

"well, sometimes people do unexpected and out of character things," she shrugged, taking the towel and wrapping herself in it before sitting down. "but you're dodging my request."

of course i had secrets. the darkest kind of secrets even. but telling her was out of the question.

"i like singing," i decided to tell her something that wasn't a complete lie. i used to like it for sure, at least while i sang with my wife.

"you sing?" she turned her head towards me. "well let's hear it."

shaking my head slowly, i sat down and took a deep breath."it's not something i do anymore."

she probably sensed that the topic was making me uncomfortable, god knows how, because she remained quiet for a few seconds, as if not wanting to push the subject any longer.

"i like singing too," she confessed, head turning slightly to look at me. "you asked me the other day if i didn't have dreams and truth is i do, as silly as it may seem, i have always wanted to be a singer."

i stood there looking at her, studying her features for a few seconds. i could tell she was dreaming of it once again, the way her eyes shone with the bright lights surrounding her.

"are you any good?" i asked with a smile, deciding to sit down next to her. for the first time, she didn't flinch at the close proximity.

the question brought a giggle to her lips, her head turning so her gaze locked with mine. she didn't answer my question, and instead we just stared into each other's eyes.

and i could swear i felt my heart skip a beat when she leaned forward just a bit more.

i only realised what was happening after a few seconds. she was about to kiss me, just like i had been about to kiss her just a few hours before. and while my body was trying to give in, my brain pulled me back to reality.

and in reality, i was a serial killer planning his next five victims, who had just lost both his parents and his wife. and so i turned my head away.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to..." i could hear the straining in her voice as she stood up, gathering her things in her arms. "i should get going, i have to get ready for my shift."

"miyeon i didn't mean to..." i tried to make an excuse, any kind of excuse that would make it reasonable for me to almost kiss her in the morning and then reject her just a few hours later. but the truth was, there wasn't a reason except for how fucked up i was.

"it's okay! really, no big deal," she sent a faint smile my way. "have the rest of a good day."

and just like that, she disappeared back into the motel.

only a fool wouldn't be able to tell just how special that girl was. and that was exactly why i couldn't be anything more than an acquaintance to her. she was too pure for such an evil person like me.

sighing, i gathered my things as well and headed to my room. i didn't see her at the reception, meaning that she was probably getting ready to start her next shift.

once i got to my room, i decided to take a shower to clean up both my body and my thoughts. i desperately needed to forget about the things i had felt for miyeon during the day, otherwise they could cloud my judgement and my actions later.

emotions made me weaker. and that was probably why i fought so hard to give in to them. i had been completely destroyed for a few months after my family had been taken from me. and i had sworn i would never care for anyone as much as i had cared for them.

and still, this girl whom i had met just three days ago, had been able to get to me almost with a snap of her fingers.

i got inside the shower and took a long, deep breath, washing off every bit of chloride and every bit of my thoughts as well.

it was time to get ready for my next attack. and just like that, my emotions turned off and the only thing i wanted was to hear the damn bastard plead for mercy.