Seven and a Half

Jennifer

After locking the doors I walked past our
kitchen and into my room, quietly closing the door as to not alert my ma I was home.

She was currently in the living room downing another beer and watching the news on full blast so really, I could make as much noise as I wanted to and she wouldn't know I was here, but to me it wasn't worth the risk. Tossing my school bag on my bed and plopping down next to it I stared at the ceiling tiredly. It was eight at night and I was just getting home. I work at a bowling alley from 3:15 to 7:50 everyday, even Sundays, but today I just put in my two week notice.

I only have a few days left of school until I graduate and my eighteenth birthday is the day after graduation, so as soon as my two weeks are up I can legally agitate the gravel and leave this place. I've been saving up for this day for as long as I can remember, and I've been working since I was twelve. So I had a couple thousand in savings to get me by. I guess you're a little confused huh? Why would a girl have to work so much at such a young age? Well that's simple, my ma's a bum and doesn't have a job, hasn't had one for years actually and my dad left when I was six.

He was two timing my ma and one night after a big argument went down he packed up and left; didn't even spare me a glance as he walked out the door. He might not remember my face since I'm all grown up now but I sure remember his; it's crisp in my mind. Ever since then my ma lost herself and then tried to find herself in a bottle. I pay for everything, and if she brings in money it's when her "guy-friends" visit. Kicking off my converse and letting my hair down from my bun I pulled the covers over me and quickly fell asleep, not even bothering to change or take off my mascara. 

-Dream-

"How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!"

My mom cried, the tears smudging her mascara as she grabbed my fathers forearm. He had just come home from "a business trip". I tiptoed down the hall way and watched from the shadows as the night unfolded.

"For Christ's sake Caroline will you shut your trap! Coarse I love ya but things happen okay! I've got a new girl and a new family, I can't just walk out on her now that she's expecting can I?"

He asked exasperatedly.

"Oh but you can walk out on this eight year relationship and our daughter huh?"

My mother scoffed, shoving his arm away and folding hers over her chest. A deep scowl crossed my fathers face as he roughly gripped my mothers chin in his large hand.

"Now you listen to me here women! I can do what ever the hell I want cause I'm the man! You don't getta judge me and you sure as hell don't getta tell me what to do!"

Just as he released her from his grip he raised his hand to slap her but stopped as a small voice called out to him. My voice.

"Daddy?"

His actions seemed to freeze up while his eyes lowered to the floor. In one swift motion he grabbed his suite case and walked out the door, slamming it so hard the house seemed to shake.

"Momma where's Daddy goin'?"

I asked, turning to my mother who was crumpled on the floor, tears streaming down her face and fresh bruises littering her pointed chin. She was silent for a moment, the whole world was silent, it was unsettling. Finally, the blonde women lifted her head and her course, sharp voice broke the silence.

"He left, found something better cause you weren't good enough for him to stay."

She said coldly.

"You weren't good enough Jennifer."

-Awake-

 
My eyes shot open, taking a hot second to adjust to the dark room. I let out a long sigh that I didn't know I was holding in before sitting up and pushing my hair out of my face. Man it's hot in here. I thought, putting my long dark hair into a high pony and taking off my socks. I checked the alarm clock I had on my nightstand, it read 4:30am.

"No use in going back to bed."

I said to myself, picking up the blankets I'd tossed on the floor in my sleep and making my bed. I flipped my light switch on and looked in my mirror, my bags were ever so prominent with the seemingly melted mascara clinging to them.

I opened a drawer in my vanity and pulled out a baby wipe, cleaning my face of any remaining make up before pulling out a small red bag from the same drawer. I'm not really big on make up like all the other girls in my school, but I keep some for bruises or days like this when I genuinely look like crap and need to wear some. To distract myself from my dream, the same dream I've been having for eleven years, I applied some foundation, eyebrow pencil and mascara. Most girls I know load up on eyeliner and blush but I like to keep things subtle.

I'm sure my opinion on make up might be different if I didn't have to pay for it, but for now I only need to look alive. Putting everything back in the drawer, once I was satisfied with my face, I changed out of my bowling alley button up and white skirt. Putting my work clothes in my school bag I pulled on some jeans and an oversized white sweater. Both clothing items were meant for boys but I wasn't about to wear skirts and pullovers everyday, I'm too self conscious of my body to wear one. Besides, girls clothes are expensive, it's easier on me to just go to a thrift store and buy some boys clothes than to pay two dollars for a skirt I won't even wear!

Lacing up my converse and grabbing my jean jacket I slugged my school bag over my shoulder and walked out the door. I started my beat up ford pickup truck and pulled out of the driveway. As I made my way to school I turned up the radio that was spewing Don't Be Cruel by Elvis Presley, practically counting down the days until I could split.