Devotion (boyxboy)

Chapter 11

"Hello mum.  I was just calling to let you know of my early arrival.  I should be there in a few hours.", I leave this message on the voice machine at home.  Due to the current dramatic turn of events in my life, I failed to shop for gifts for the upcoming holiday.  Going home early will give me a chance to shop last minute and grow the courage to finally let my parents know who and what I really am.

If I survive all of these changes then the last and most important obstacle I need to overcome is the fear of losing Keaton once I reveal all to him and I surely must do this.  Execution, however, is the key!  There are so many things I want to accomplish before this year comes to a close and I am so damn scared that my future will be emotionally bleak once all is said and done.

I finally arrive home only to see that my parents are home after all.  With a deep sigh, I grab my things from the car, bid the driver farewell and enter the house.  I hear what can only be my mother's footsteps coming from the kitchen whose smell is so enticing with God only knows what she is baking, with an apron around her waist and her arms wide open and she says, "Darling what in the world is going on?  We did not expect you home for another week?  Are you okay?" and just for a moment, I wrap my arms around her and just inhail the blissful scent that is my mother to calm my nerves.  

I let her go and said, "Where is dad?  I really need to speak with you both.  It is really important."  She turn slightly from me and yelled, "Honey, Balin is home.  Can you please come to the kitchen."  I hear my father making his way to us from somewhere in our home.  My heart starts to beat a bit more rapidly as I know that there is no better time like the present to reveal my true self, my true identity to the people that raised me.

I was shaking with nerves but I had to get this over and done with.  I followed my mother into the kitchen and we found my dad already seated at the table waiting for us.  My mother sat at the table as well and then I just looked from one parent to another and realized that words completely escaped me.  For someone who  has been known for his literary genius, my mind completely froze paralyzing me to the very spot I stood upon.

My mum, God bless her soul, came towards me and pulled me to a chair at the table and sat me down.  She looked right into my eyes and made the one statement that told me everything would be okay.  "You know Balin, whatever you have to discuss with your father and me, it is okay.  Nothing you could say to either of us could ever make us love you any less than we do at this moment and let me tell you something sweetheart, there is no place big enough to contain the love that we have for you.  You are our pride and joy!"  

At this point she has tears gathering in her eyes.  I looked over at my dad and all I saw was unconditional love and pride so I looked to both of them and took a deep breath in, "I am gay!"  Then I closed my eyes tightly trying not to let the tears that were already forming fall out but it was useless.  I could already feel the wetness streaming down my cheeks.  In this moment of complete and utter uncertainity where I felt my soul crushing me with the possibility of rejection, I thank God for giving me the parents I have because all I felt were the arms of both of my parents wrapped around me in what I could only call a cocoon of love and acceptance.

I was listening to the nonsensical ramblings of love and attempts to calm me down coming from my parents when I suddenly realized that I still had one more thing to reveal.  I pulled away from them and stood up.  I could feel their eyes on me and I began to pace the floor.  I heard my father ask, "What else is wrong son?"  I looked upon the worried faces of my parents and said, "That is not the only thing that I need to reveal to you."

So ofcourse my wonderful mother responds with, "Are you okay?  You're not sick are you?  Where you careful, please tell me you are being careful." and I had to stop her because I know the horrified look on my face probably made her assumptions worse.  "Mum what in the hell, I am not sick and for the record, if I were sexually active, I would be careful but I am not.  I am a virgin and proud of it mum so please, just...Agh!"

I had turned my back on them trying to hide my embaressment when I heard her giggle.  Unbelievable!  I turned around and rolled my eyes at her and decided to just put it out there.  "Mum, da...the other news I have to reveal to you is that,  I am a published author.  A very famous, well established and extremely wealthy author."  So now my parents are giving me clueless, eyes blinking rapidly faces.  The silence is deafening.

"What exactly do you mean by that?", my mother asks me as my father continues to look straight at me. "Well I think the statement is pretty much self explanatory but if you must know, my penname is B. Dale!"  Then my mother just starts to shriek like a banshee...