Devotion (boyxboy)

Chapter 7

I have come to the realization that I may very well have to change my rooming assignment with Keaton. The thought of going back to that room with HIM waiting for my return is killing me inside. It has become so increasingly harder to hide my feelings from him and it is only a matter of time before I explode and he learns the whole truth. I cannot bear to loose his friendship. It is the closest to a relationship I will get with Keaton.

I spent most of yesterday at my publisher's office and let me tell you, for the first time ever he cried reading one of my drafts. This is just a first draft but he completely became unhinged. As far as he is concerned, this one is the most perfect piece of literary work that once published he believes it will outshine them all and quite possibly give me the achievement of an award winning writer. I doubt that though.

I am currently on my way back to school reflecting on how I will be able to survive living with a blissfully ignorant of my feelings Keaton as opposed to living without him altogether. My heart cannot take much more of this. I honestly thought that writing these feelings out on paper would help alleviate the ache in my soul but it's not enough anymore. Knowing what his lips taste like has driven me to the brink of insanity. How am I suppose to pretend it never happened? How am I suppose to go on not touching any part of him remembering that with each sweet touch, my senses tingle for him and him only.

I am pulled out of my current thoughts by a knocking on my limousine window. I turned my head to look out the window only to find Keaton patiently waiting outside for me to open the door. I sigh deeply to get my heart prepared for the sight of him but there can never be enough preparation for his appearance. He is, after all, quite perfect! I open the door and before I can even set one foot out of the vehicle in comes Keaton only to tackle me down onto the seat and give me a deep, strong hug.

"I trully missed you this weekend. I am sorry if I pushed you away and don't pretend that you did not go away this weekend with the intent of running away from me.", he mumbles into my chest. He was behaving like a toddler so all I could do is laugh. Honestly it was all hysterical the very idea of Keaton trully missing me. "You have nothing to worry about. I am fine now. Again I am sorry for making you feel like you did something wrong. I really did have something planned for the weekend outside of school.", I responded.

I had my arms wrapped around his waist and the feeling of his whole body on top of mine felt like a healing balm to my soul. In that instant I knew I could not leave his side. If all I could get was friendship then so be it. I would figure out a way because I now know that without him by my side, my soul would wither up and die.

I looked at the top of Keatons head and said, "Please let me up so I can finally get out of this limo and stretch my legs. As he raises himself off of me, I am left with a cold feeling in every part of my entire being. As I begin to get up off the seat, Keaton reaches over for my messenger bag and says, "Let me help you with that." The panic in my heart causes me to pale. I quickly reach over and snatch my bag from his hands and just stare right into his wide, shocked eyes. "I am sorry. I have personal stuff in here and I feel better knowing I have a handle on the bag.", I say to try and get that look off of his face.

He gives me a weird look. Almost like he is plotting things in his head. Not sure what to make of that. All I know is that the first draft of my most revealing novel yet is in this bag and if he were to open it, it would destroy my soul. He then smiles a bit wickedly and says, "What's in there Balin? A personal journal into your soul? I would so love to get my hands on that." He reaches over trying to get at my bag but I put it beind me and the look on my face says, Don't you dare or I will kick your ass!

He starts laughing at me and that sound makes my heart sing with glee. "Come on then. Out with you. Let's go home and have dinner because I am starved.", he says to me. My mind responds with, You have no idea what starvation really is!