Dying to Live

Chapter 26

⏳ ADAM, June

OK so I might've overdone it a little bit last night, but it was totally worth it.

I was a happily married man. I never thought I'd get to say those words together out loud, but Zoe made it possible when she walked into that dive bar back in February and completely changed my plot line. I had a wife and she was sleeping naked next to me.

How fucking sexy was that?

I tried to roll over so that I could kiss her awake, but my body was having none of it.

OK, less sexy...

The pain was unbearable, the second I attempted to move.

Yeah, I definitely overdid it last night. I shouldn't have gotten so ambitious, especially after we got in bed and pulled up the sheets. I stretched myself far too thin all for the sake of an orgasm and this morning I was suffering the consequences big time. I needed fucking pain relief now.

"Zoe," I whispered, hating the way my voice sounded like an old man's in my ears. I brushed my hand down the groove of her back and she slowly began to stir underneath my touch. "Hey baby, sorry... but I have a favor to ask you."

Yeah, nope. Not sexy. Not sexy at all.

I barely even saw the first 24 hours of married life because I was too busy sleeping through it all. Zoe brought up some breakfast with a side of pills sometime in the early hours of the afternoon and we ate together, talking every now and then, but mostly just enjoying each other's company without having to say a word at all.

I kept catching her staring at the new bling on her left hand, and every single time she was smiling to herself.

We went downstairs for a little while for a change of scenery. We opened a few of the smaller wedding presents outside on the deck while Joplin played with her tennis ball. I took some more pain meds and I was back in bed by four o'clock.

It was dark when I woke up again. Actually, it was something that woke me up, but as I blinked the drowsiness away, I couldn't figure out just what it was. I ran my clammy hands over my face and let out a raspy breath. My chest felt heavy, like a block of cement was sitting on my rib-cage. I was struggling to catch my breath.

I coughed a few times and pain shot through my side. It was like a thousand white-hot needles were stabbing me from the inside, over and over again, with no signs of stopping.

I was drenched in cold sweat. The whole bed was soaked in it.

Every movement I made felt stiff and uncoordinated, but I eventually got out of bed and ripped everything off: the sheets, the pillows, everything, until it was just the bare mattress on top of the upholstered panel bed. If I had any of the strength I used to have when I was still 210 lbs of muscle, I probably would've flipped the mattress too.

What time was it? I swiped my finger over my phone and ignored all of the text message notifications. It was probably just people asking me how I was doing, or congratulating me on the wedding. If it was anything important, people knew to call Zoe if I didn't respond to my phone. I could read through them later. I looked at the time.

9:39pm.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the light on, but immediately wished I hadn't. I caught my reflection in the mirror and sighed. God, I looked like a ghostly white, scaly monster from a horror movie.

I tore my eyes away and stripped out of my clothes. I needed to take a shower and brush my teeth. So I turned the water on and waited until it was lukewarm before stepping inside. I barely had the energy to wash myself, and the worst part was that this wasn't the chemo.