Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Forty.

Lily's POV-

"Seriously, Lily, what's the matter with you?" Cass asked for the tenth time.

"Go away, Cass," I told her with a sigh, only half meaning it.

She slumped back into her seat with a huff, crossing her bony little arms over her chest. "Fine," she pouted, "have it your way."

I closed my magazine with a sigh and set it on my lap. "I'm just stressed is all, I'm sorry."

"About what?" She wondered, staring at her feet that she was dragging across the floor in patterns.

"I'm meeting my boyfriends mother tomorrow looking like this," I pointed to my newly shaved head that was covered by a purple bandana, "And I'm stuck here on Christmas Eve and I haven't even finished Christmas shopping. Like, what the hell am I supposed to get a middle aged woman whom I've never met before?"

"I still think you're pretty," Cass said quietly from beside me, her green eyes wide and her mouth drawn into a frown. I forgot her head was shaved as well and I felt like a monster.

"Cass," I pleaded softly, grabbing her hand. "I didn't mean it like that- I just- I'm just not used to it yet. I miss it, is all." She ignored me but gripped onto my hand. "I think you're beautiful."

She smiled, not just a regular smile but a huge dimpled smile that took up most of her face. Her smile and her dimples reminded me of Harry.

"It was blonde like my mom's," she informed me, pointing at her exposed head. "It was down to here," she put her hand on her lower back, "and I had this shampoo that made it smell just like apples."

"Either way, you're gorgeous." And it wasn't a lie.

She spent the next ten minutes telling me about her family; how her parents had been married for almost twenty-three years and that she had two older brothers and a younger sister. They all looked just like her, and she looked just like her mother.

"I'm closest with my sister, Bailey, but I guess Nathan and Jordan are pretty great too," she smiled up at me and I couldn't help but smile back. She had the type of smile that made you smile back. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

I nodded. "I have a step sister, Ariana, she's my best friend."

"Step mom or step dad?"

"Step Mom."

"Oh," she squeaked. "Did things just not work out with your parents or-?"

I couldn't get mad at her for being curious, could I? I never brought up my mother to anyone. I didn't even like thinking about her because it physically hurt me to do so. I pondered telling her what really happened.

"You could say that," I said instead, staring at the floor. It felt like the room was closing in on me.

"Can I ask what happened? You don't have to tell me- I'm just curious," She said quietly and I could feel her gaze on me as I stared at the floor.

I could talk about it. It would be good to talk about it. Cass seemed much older than thirteen usually, and she seemed mature enough to handle this.

"Uh-" I started, my throat suddenly feeling very dry. I'd never talked about it before to anyone. When it happened, my father and I just acted like it didn't. He took all of her pictures off the wall and quickly got rid of anything that was hers or reminded him of her. I couldn't even remember the sound of her voice that well anymore. "My mom committed suicide when I was twelve. She had depression and I guess it was just too much for her."

Cass' eyes went wide and she smacked her hand over her mouth. "I shouldn't have asked. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, my throat was still dry and I wasn't even sure if everything around me was real anymore. "No, it's okay. I like to think that she's happy now, you know?"