They chose me? (1D, 5SOS and, jacksgap phanfic feat. youtubers)-- discontinued

Chapter 21- save me... [part. 1]

Warning: this chapter my contain some touchy subjects.. So if you don't think you can handle it -I'm being completely serious as this is a serious matter- please do not read it... The touchy subject includes- panic and anxiety attacks, self harm, basically I don't want anyone who may know me personally to think anything like this is going through my mind... But I believe that this is a completely serious 'thing'... I found this chapter quite difficult to write as some of these things -anxiety and panic attacks- as some of my friends and I suffer from... Please don't comment things like 'hurry up and post the next chapter already' or 'please update soon' as I find it disrespectful, especially with some of the circumstances in this chapter. If anyone wants to speak to me -if your hitting a rough patch in your life or need to let it all out- I won't judge you, I do my best to make people smile when they are down

Thank you

Chels

Xoxo

*Chelsea's p.o.v***

(quick note: she self harmed at the orphanage, an the italic words are here memories)

Liam and Louis rushed upstairs

I looked where Harry was laying, my head was becoming light, blood is all I see... picture flash through my mind of when I came down stairs after my mothers death... blood, its everywhere. The inner panic attacks were taking over, my heart was beating irregularly, ringing filled my ears, soon I was losing my breath.. I was getting hot flushes.. little did I know that this was about to change my life...

the panic attack died down, but the anxiety attack came soon after, I had a leeling of losing control or going crazy, choking sensations in my throat, I had a surge of overwhelming panic...

last time this happened I woke up connected to needles connected to tubes connected to bags of some sort of liquid...last time I purposely hurt myself

the two remaining boys looked at me in complete fear, black dots started to fill my vision.. Niall started to walk over to me but zayn stopped him by putting his arm out in the way,

"Chelsea, calm down... Take deep breaths.. Everything's gonna be ok" zayn said putting his arm down

I fell to my knees and started to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, as if the skin was dried glue, I started to claw at my wrists and upper arms, I need to let the pain out... I need something sharp to let it all out...

'.chelsea. Stop. Please. Don't do this. You won't only hurt yourself you'll hurt those around yo-' I cut my own conscious off

'I. Need. Too' I told myself'

I looked down to my now red arms, the scars were only just visible from last time this happened.

I just needed an angel to save me.

That's when I broke... Those 8 words was what it took, I crawled so I was facing the wall and my knees against it, and cried, cried as much as my eyes could take.

After about 5 minutes of crying and clawing at my skin, I decided to head upstairs and figure out what I was gonna do there... One thing was for sure... I need to release my pain and horror that is going through my head.

Picture float through my mind, razors, shit I need help..like big time...

i pulled out of Zayns embrace...

"Im just going to speak to Louis for abit" I hiccuped i really needed someone to speak to... Milly and bree dont know and will never know about the pain in my life.

they nodded slowly and took a step back as i stood up and walked up the stairs, it took me a while to remember were Liam's room was, I soon found it as i heard someone moaning in pain from the other side of the door.

I slowly raised my closed fist and knocked the door lightly, it all went quiet... suddenly the door opened slightly to reveal a streesed looking Liam... his face softened as he saw my red eyes

"hun, whats wrong?" he asked softly

"Nothing.. How is Harry?" i replied looking at the ground.

"he's going to be fine." he replied calmly

"uhh.. do you know where Louis is?" i asked

"I think he is mopeing around in his room.." he said

"okay... thanks" i say slowly walking over to lou's door

i knock on his door quietly but loud enough for us to hear

i heard i slight sigh from the other side of the door, soon the door opened and i saw a very sad, tired and stressed (he'll feel better on swiss... :P) Louis

"hey..." I say awkwardly looking at my feet,

" hi....uhh-"

"are you okay?"

"uhhhhh...." his hand raises and scratches the back of his neck " to be honest with you... No... what about you.. I know you and harry are actually pretty close"

" I kinda had a panic and/or a panic attack.. but you know nothing new" I mumbled

i hoped he didn't hear me, but I knew he did when his eyes became wide.

he slowly parted his mouth to say something but I cut him off by engulfing him in a great, big bear hug.. tears were flowing down both our faces.

"I-I I just dont know what to do..." he cried wiping his loose tears " li said he was gonna be okay... but this has happened before, our kind shouldn't last thislong with silver lurched into their stomachs.. Harry has a 12% survival rate... he shouldve died... harrys a trooper..." he rambled 

our kind.... uhhh what.   

i shall investigate later

"is there anything i can do to help?" i whispered 

"just hope" he replied " hope that he doesnt pass"

i nodded  and continued this bear hug

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~**~~*~*

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

wasssup

dats gewwd

anyways harrys p.o.v may or may not be in the next chapter.. depends

anyways rmember about the warning!!!

soz it took soo long to update, kinda forgot about this story

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Chelsea

smooochieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssss