She Loves Her More

Goodbye Attempt

Warning: This chapter contains self harm and suicide attempts, which some readers may find triggering. If you find these themes upsetting, please do not read.

Lena's POV
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I knew this was what I had to do. If I couldn't live with the burden, that meant I had to die...

I tried to make another incision into my arm, but my hand would not let me have control. Try as I might, I just couldn't steady my shaking. The more I tried, the more I failed, and the more I failed, the more rage filled my body. I was furious, at myself. I hated myself.

"WHY CANT I JUST FUCKING DIE?!" I screamed.

A tone started playing. It silenced my anger, momentarily. My phone was ringing. It must've been Kara. For Gods sake, not now. I let the phone ring, until it fell quiet again. The silence didn't last long, as she kept calling back.

"Oh my God Kara, just piss off!" I said, even though she couldn't hear me.

The phone continued to ring, and it made my blood boil.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!"

Jerking upwards, filled with fury, I snatched my phone from off my desk and smashed it to the floor. I was utterly infuriated and full to the brim with pure rage. My mind was going insane, and I couldn't think straight.

"I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be here anymore." I repeated, over and over to myself, breathing deeply, in between every repetition.

Rocking back and forth, on the floor again, I clasped my cut arm with my free hand. The sharp sting of physical contact, forced me to scream. I tried to stop the bleeding while I attempted to regain my thoughts.

I couldn't. I just couldn't do it anymore.

Releasing the grip of my hand, I watched as the blood continued to flow from my wrist. The sight was making me feel dizzy and numb. I was in too deep now. There was no way out.

I could hear the glass shard, laughing at me, taunting me to pick it up again. Stretching my right hand out, my fingertips brushed against the bloodstained surface of my suicide weapon. I dragged it towards me.

Picking it up, I held it like a dagger. My mind was empty. My body was in control of itself. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I let my hand do what it wanted.

Shooting towards my chest, the shard stabbed deep into my body. I let out a frightening shriek, as the excruciating pain surged through my veins. It felt like blood was pouring out of my heart... A literal heartache...

I'd already lost the sensation in my left arm, but my right arm fell numb too. It let go of the glass jetting out from my chest, and flopped down to my side. My body swayed, as I started to lose consciousness. Although I was already on the floor, my body was ready to collapse, as far down as it could go.

The floor began to get closer to my face, as I fell head first to the ground. The glass pierced further into my chest, as a result of my body laying flat against the floor. I could feel it inside me. It was sharp and jagged. It didn't just slice into me... It tore in... Deep.

I felt sleepy. My eyes fought to stay open. I feared for if I closed them, I'd never be able to open them again. But maybe that wasn't so bad?

Drifting off, I could hear my balcony doors fling open.

"Lena? LENA!" a voice cried.

It sounded like Kara, and she sounded like she was in a frantic mess.

"Lena! Lena what did you do?! Why did you do this?!"

"K-Kara, I'm so s-sor..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I had no strength left to talk.

I tried to listen out for the sound of Kara's comforting voice, but I couldn't hear a sound. I couldn't move. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. All I had left were my thoughts, before they would soon go too.

I wish you could hear my thoughts right now, Kara... Kara Danvers, you are my superhero... Please save me...

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"The slow and simple melody, of tears you cannot keep from me.
It's alright if you don't know what you need."