What's The Worst That Could Happen?

Red pill. Blue Pill.

You know when you're a kid, the world makes sense?

People live. People die. People go to school and then go off to work. People start families and raise them until they are old. This was the world as I knew it as a child. It isn't until you get older, and less naive, that you see the world for what it truly is.

However, now my world has been turned upside down and I have to accept that maybe a world with ghosts, goblins, ghouls, sorcery just may be true. Now, I have to question everything I ever knew. It feels as if I have been deceived and the worst deception to accept is Darren's. 

That hurts more than anything I could imagine and so all the apologies offered just don't quite cut it. Darren doesn't quite understand. But I suppose it is my fault for making him my superhero.

Things were tense in the house for quite a while. Whereas before I felt attended to, I now felt like I was being watched. Whenever I spoke to the phone with my mother or Jora, I knew someone was around the corner with a listening ear, whether that be Samuel or Nina or Lloyd. They were all on Darren's side after all. Their was a legacy to maintain and my life was just collateral damage. The only place I feel safe now is in my room but even then, Darren finds some excuse to come check on me. He has been trying his hardest to make conversation and to make me feel at ease.  He hopes, like everyone, that I will get over it. Darren says that our union was fated...I was his mate and that we were designed for one another. He said I would come to understand in time. This made me question everything. 

 I thought about every date we had, conversation shared, and times spent together. Does he care about me because he loves me or because he has to? If we weren't destined or fated or mated...would he still choose me?

I don't know the answer.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Lucia continued with the wedding planning and I would sit with her in the living room, nodding yes and no to the different colors of fabric or cake decorations she mentioned. Nina would still come to me and prattle on about her young adult life. I felt the tensions ease and people seemed to relax around me. I let them think everything was going back to normal. I went along. Doesn't a bird still chirp its song even when in a cage?

Today, it's breakfast time on a crisp fall morning and everyone is at the dining table. I am quiet, eating my breakfast of fruit and oatmeal as everyone converses. Eventually the subject of the impending wedding comes up, as it usually does, and Lucia is commenting on guest sitting arrangements and what not, but I interrupt her mid-sentence.

"How about we going shopping, maybe?" I ask.

The guests at the table turns to me, wide-eyed.

"I mean, I like looking online and in magazines but it is much easier to visualize in person. There are so many nice boutiques and shops in town that I would love to visit. I haven't been to town in a while."

Darren clears his throat. 

"Are you sure you're up for it?"

"I mean better than being cooped up inside with just my homework to look forward to."  I

"I think it's a great idea...we could make it a girl's day out!" Nina says, excitedly.

"That's what I was thinking too." I say, smiling at Nina .

Darren and Samuel exchange glances and I see Samuel shrugs.

"Well, I don't see why not. If it would make you happy."

"It would." I reassure.

"Okay then. When?" Nina asks.

"Great, how about tomorrow afternoon?"