Coming Home

Chapter 24 - Loved

I was sat in the truck with Logan on the way to where ever Harry thought Jack might be. I guessed they had found the lab because Logan wouldn't tell me where we were going. I felt the flutter of hope inside of myself, hope that maybe we would find Jack at last.

We had left on our own because Logan's Mum didn't want to come and as much as I had wanted Geoff to come he was asleep when we'd left. I was fortunate enough not to have seen Logan's nameless girlfriend yet today.

On the drive so far I had been thinking about what the best approach might be to tell him that I knew now. That I really knew the truth, not the version he had told me. I felt awkward with Logan now and I didn't like that.

"I know what happened."

He hesitated before answering. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know that you're not well. Your Mum told me everything."

He was silent, looking at the road, when suddenly he jerked the steering wheel to the left and drove down a narrow, dusty track the led off the side of the road. My hand gripped the seat as my heart sped up, the truck rattled as it drove over the bumpy track. He braked hard and we came to a sudden stop, the momentum throwing me forward the back hard against the seat.

"She had no right to tell you-."

"It was about time someone did. And it should have been you!"

He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand, jaw clenched and face pinched with anger .I had never seen him like this before and it scared me more than anything. Logan was always the one in control, always calm and never, ever angry. Was this the kind of man he was now?

"You don't understand. I'm not the same person that I was. Hell, don't even know if I'm human anymore."

"Logan..."I whispered, my voice sounding too loud in the silence.

He looked over at me, his bottomless, sea blue eyes meeting mine. I heard my breath catch at what I saw in his eyes. There was anger and hurt. But there was also fear. Fear of what was happening to him. Fear that he couldn't control it. And in that I saw that the Logan I knew, that I loved, was still there and I had to help him.

I knew we should leave, go and finally find my brother who I missed so much. But I had missed Logan too.

I felt myself sway toward him, my gaze still linked with his, my lips parted. I watched as his pupils dilated, the black almost swallowing the bright blue of his eyes, before I closed my own eyes. Our lips met, I sighed, pressing myself harder against him, wanting to feel him, to feel his body, to know that it was mine. That it was my right to touch it.

Logan responded then, hands cupping my face as he deepened the kiss, his lips slanting against mine. He pressed me back against the seat, his body coming over me. My hands pushed up his shirt, fingers following the familiar path of his body, tracing over a scar that he hadn't had before, a scar that I didn't know how he had got because I hadn't been here for him.

Now I understood, I understood what he had meant when he had said he didn't want someone who wouldn't fight for what they loved. And I should have, I should have fought to stay with him, I should have been here for him when he came home from work, hurt and in pain.

I saw us together, as if watching from afar, in the fading light on a cold winter evening, our breath steaming up the windows of his truck, leaving us in a quiet haven of our own. My fingers entwined in my hair, tugging him closer to me. We were as one, breathing together, our bodies entwined.

I heard him say he loved me. And I believed him.

When Logan turned off the engine it was almost midnight. I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up from the sleepy dream state I was in. I looked out the window, seeing only trees bathed in moonlight. It would have been romantic if I didn't know that this was the lab that Jack was being held in.

"Is this it?" Logan nodded.

"Wait." He caught my arm and turned me around to face him. He looked at me silently for several moments before he whispered, "Happy Birthday."

"What? My birthdays not until-."

"December the eighteenth...today."

I looked at the green, glowing numbers of the dashboard clock. It read 12:01. I had been nineteen for one whole minute and didn't even know it. I didn't feel any different. Nothing had changed, I was still kind-of single and had no money, no job and now no brother. But I hoped that would soon change.

And where would I be next year? Probably the exact same place, I could never be with anyone but Logan, I knew that now. And he's planning to marry someone who isn't me. The last thing I wanted to do was bring up the subject of his fiancé in the silent car just before we were going to try and break my brother out of a mad mans lab. But I had to know.

"I saw the ring."

"What ring?" I looked at my hands.

"The engagement ring..."

"Cassie, I you weren't meant to see that. I-."

"Do you love her?"

"Do I love who?"

"Your girlfriend."

"Cassie, you've got the wrong idea. It's not what you-."

But I would never hear the end of that sentence because at that moment bright light flooded the car, illuminating Logan's face, I winced at the sudden light and brought my hand up to shield my eyes.

"Is that Harry?" I looked closer and saw Harry climb out of a shiny, black car that had pulled up in front of us. I got out of the truck, anxious to find Jack.

"Thought you might need some back up." Harry greeted me.

"Thanks Harry." I heard Logan follow me over to Harry and they shook hands.

Logan turned to look me straight in my eye. "If I told you to wait here, would you?"

"Of course not. Which way should we go?"

Logan pointed to the left and I saw a narrow footpath that hopefully would lead me to my brother.

We set off together into the darkness, hoping that by tomorrow I would have my brother back and all this would be over.