Loser's Guide on Getting Laid (Huniepop Fanfiction)

2

I was sleeping so soundly. With the chipping of the birds, loud noises from outside and the scent of food, it was morning.

Ugh. Today was another workday and it was the beginning of the week. Monday funday.

My alarm went off on my phone on my nightstand and I turn it off. Turning over to my window and I swore I was tripping.

???: Hey you, rise and shine. We've got work to do!

There was this lady with pink hair in pigtails and green eyes looking at my eyes.

I rub my eyes, pinching myself, trying to wake up from this dream.

???: No, this is totally not a dream. I'm real.

"Oh, now I know I'm trippin trippin."

I jumped out of bed, crawling on the floor, scared as hell. I wasn't that drunk and I was alone when I got home.

I got up and pick up my replica Legend of Zelda Master Sword.

"Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?!"

The woman got out of bed. She wore a pink lace dress and what look like translucent wings

???: What are you going to do? Triforce me to death?

"Hell yeah, INTRUDER!"

I went to charge at the woman with my replica sword raised high, but raised her arms out, causing me to stop.

???: Woah! Chill out! You'll be glad I showed up. Don't you recognize this adorable face? I'm Kyu from the bar last night.

My brain couldn't wrap my head into this. I remember the bar and this brunette name Kyu. Both of them have the similar voice and eyes. It couldn't be.

"No way..."

Kyu: Clever disguise right? I can change my hair any color I want. It's pretty sweet.

"You didn't have wings last night. The hell is going on?!"

Kyu rolled her eyes at me.

Kyu: Good question. I'm glad you asked. If you can't tell, I'm a fairy.

"A fairy?"

Kyu: A love fairy to be exact.

Oh god. I've really gone crazy. I laughed, pointing at her. I couldn't stop laughing. A love fairy? Yeah, sure.

"Okay. Now, I've heard it all. If this keeps up, my life is going to be that show, Wilfred. Except for a talking dog, I have a "love" fairy.

"I'm going to work. But since you're entertaining me through what will be a crappy day, enlighten me on why you're here."

Kyu: You see, as a love fairy it's my job to help poor saps like you out with the ladies. It's just...what I do. I don't like to brag, but I'll have you know I have a very impressive track record. All of my previous clients are...basically walking babe magnets now. You though...ahem...let's just say you will be my greatest accomplishment yet.

"Me? You're greatest accomplishment? If you haven't seen me, I'm not good. I was voted Most Likely To Die Alone in high school. So, good luck with that."

Kyu: This makes this mission even more exciting!

The fairy walked past me and open my closet and had a look of horror.

Kyu: Ah ew. What the fuck is this? Jeans, work shirts, blank tees. Your swag meter is in the negatives.

"Hey! There's nothing...wrong with my swag."

Kyu: Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Anyway, we need to get on your way to get some ladies.

"Hold on! I can't do that. I got a job to do. The rent doesn't pay for itself.

Kyu took out a wand, using magic to flow through me. Next to me, the magic form into a duplicate of me.

The copy version of me waved as he went out my bed room.

Kyu: He's going to replace you at your job while the real goes to the mall to buy you something that didn't came from Goodwill. Oh, I forgot!

The Love Fairy toss me a device that looked like a Galaxy Note. Hope it wasn't a Note 7.

Kyu: Introducing the latest in love fairy technology. The Huniebee 4.0. The Huniebee is an essential lifeline for any player on the go. It automatically registers the info of new girls you meet and can even track their location.

(Con't) Okay great! I think that's it for now. Let's get out there and talk to some broads!

"Uh yeah."

Kyu: I said, let's go talk to some broards!

"Yeah, yeah."

Kyu: Gah, you're hopeless. But we're going to change that.

Kyu went out of my room while I went to get dressed.

Whatever that happened this morning, I had a bad feeling about it.