flipped :: lh [UNDER REVISION]

16.collide

“Luke?” Aries is standing directly in front of him, her arms placed at her sides. He can see the way she picks at pieces of her hair as she talks, the way she holds herself confidently.

He doesn’t do much other than look at her in that moment. It really doesn’t take much for him to decide that she’s one of the most stunning people he’s ever seen – or met for that matter. He can’t really get over the feeling that lodges in the back of his throat as she approaches. It’s the first time he feels this way around her – in a negative light; it’s definitely not something he wants to be used to.

Luke’s breathing is shallow, eyes flickering back and forth between the two. He partially wonders if he’s in the midst of a panic attack, if that’s something he can have. There’s Aries and Michael, and everyone else. And then there’s Luke. When he looks back at himself, really reflects on the past few months, he can’t come to terms with how he’d ever managed to regain so much of himself he thought he lost. But as he’s looking at her, and Michael, he realizes he hadn’t changed much either.

Everything feels so far away, everything Luke has worked up to seems to slip so easily from his grasp in the next few moments. There's lights, and noise, and heat from multitudes of students making their way back and forth; the sound of shoes scuffling, voices chirping back and forth in conversational loops. Luke feels dizzy, so, so dizzy and he wants to walk out right then – ignore all the previous words exchanged, three am talks, and music listened to and walk out. To not turn back, to forget.

“Luke this is Michael –“

“I know who he is.” Luke snaps.

He can see the way Michael stiffens next to Aries, the all too familiar way he clenches his fists and furrows his eyebrows downward. Luke can clearly remember all the times he’d seen Michael do that when they’d fought about stupid things. And maybe now isn’t the best time to do this he thinks. There’s all these people sitting around, oblivious to the invisible tensions that Luke and the others share. The way it clings and wraps around each of them – burning red hot, on the brink of venomous words left unspoken.

It’s here that Luke realizes he’s not seen, legitimately seen (excluding all the times he’s passed by or quickly dodged a crowd on a hunch Michael was in it) Michael up close. He can tell his hair has been dyed multiple times since the last time he’s seen him. The wispy strands that stick up on his head are a faded out blonde – almost white at first glance. There’s a twinge of nostalgia when Luke had first dared Michael to dye his hair into what later turned into quite the routine; Michael dying his hair as often as he could (even to the point of dyeing it a girl’s favourite colour because he had the biggest crush on her).

He looks longer and he can also see the changes; things that aren’t as obvious but are still noticeable. He wonders what he’s been up to, what he’s done, who he’s seen. Guilt surges through him as he tries his best not to stare anymore. Michael is looking at him too, an unreadable emotion crossing his face before he’s looking down at his shoes, Luke turning to Aries.

“Why.” Is all Luke gets out in the few seconds of silence. It’s not even a question but more of a pitiful version of a statement. One that holds so much more to it than that. A burdened phrase he’s sure millions have used before him, a simple word heavy as he talks.

Aries shifts to the side, one foot crossing the other. A strand of her thick hair tangling against her lips. She peeks up at him through her eyelashes as she speaks. “Luke don’t start this now.”

“Start what?” He tries his best not to raise his voice.

She sighs, “don’t be childish Luke.”