What We Wish For

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Love means to see the one you love happy - Nicholas Sparks.

I walked outside needing to get away. Way too many things had happened tonight. I could hear Lizzie running after me, calling my name so I stopped and waited for her just to be polite. I really didn't feel like being around people right now. I needed a break. "Hey are you okay?" She asked as she caught up to me.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just need to think a little. Can I sleep at your place tonight? I just need a run before I go home?" I asked her. I knew she would be waiting for me to talk with her at home, which I think I need, but right now I just needed to be alone.

"Yeah sure whatever you need. Want me to call you a cab?" She asked taking out her phone.

"No I'm fine, I'll walk it's not that far." I said as I kissed her on her check and started to go in the direction of the woods. I needed to be alone and think. I wanted to be alone with no chance of meeting anyone, so as soon as I got the the forest area I went in the direction that would end up leading me to the lake. As soon as I had shifted into my wolf I moved a lot faster, which meant it wouldn't take me too long to get to the lake.

As soon as I was at the lake I dropped my clothes I had in my mouth, changed back to human form and jumped into the water. I didn't know what it was, but being in or aroung water always had this calming effect on me. It made me feel whole in a weird kind of way.

I felt bad for what happened with Derek. He didn't do anything wrong. We kissed from time to time. And the way we were dancing, I get why he kissed me. And I don't want to get together with Jake so I don't know why I pushed him away. It just somehow didn't feel as good as it used to do. It didn't feel right. Normally my wolf didn't mind being with Derek. But this time she was yelling and really putting up a fight. I swam around trying to get everything that had happened since I moved back to just leave my head. After half an hour I gave up and started to head back to Lizzie's place.

As predicted Lizzie was waiting up for me in the living room an hour later when I walked through the door. "So want to talk about what happened tonight? Shall I kick Jakes ass for kissing you?" She asked as I sat down on the floor in their living room. "Or Derek's?" She made a grimace.

"No. It wasn't totally Jake's fault. When he learned in to kiss me I didn't pull away actually I learned in as well. I don't know why." I said laying down on the floor.

"Well you did kind of had a lot to drink. But does this mean you want to be together with him?" She asked looking at me like she was trying to figure me out. Well if she succeeded I would like to know.

"No I don't. I hate myself for kissing him. I just, I don't know, was caught up in the moment?" I answered her letting out a sigh, why couldn't my life just be easy.

"Well it was some song he sang for you. I mean everyone at the bar who saw he walked down and talked to you knew that song was for you." Lizzie said smirking.

"I know. And you should have heard what he told me when we were out getting something to drink. He want me to give him a chance, to be my friend and possible mate." I told her.

"Well yeah it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. I mean he have practically dumped all his friends every day at school to just sit close to you, he sang for you and he did all he could to help out with Dana's house. I mean come on yeah his dad told him to, but he could just have let some girl pay for him the whole day and not help out at the house, but he didn't, he did everything he could to help you. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you should jump into his arms or let him be your friend just like that, let him work. But maybe give the man something? Haven't you seen eating how depressed he looks and he's doing everything he can." Lizzie said just as quietly treating me like I was some ticking bomb.