What We Wish For

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 Lea's POV

I jumped up, sweat running down my forehead. I have had another dream about him and that orphanage. I hated this, why were they coming back now? After so long without them, they had finally started to be a rare thing for me to have. I looked over at the clock and saw it was 05:22, I had at least been able to sleep most of the night. I got up, took my book by Paul Auster and walked out of the room trying not to wake up Lizzie. I walked into the kitchen where I jumped up on the table and started reading, while playing with my necklace like I normally do. I looked down at it and read 'Sub Rosa' again. Last night I had another nightmare and had stayed up the rest of the night trying to figure out what it meant. I did learn something about what sub rosa meant, if it was relevant was another question though.

I learned that in the 16th century, the symbol of Henry VIII of England was the stylised Tudor rose.
- That in Christian symbolism, the phrase 'Sub Rosa' had a special place in confessions.
- That more recently, 'sub Rosa', activities have become a byword for covered operations. Originating primarily in the Canadian and American special forces.
- I also learned that apparently it was a label, and that Brett White is a huge Sub rosa fan. He made a giant Sub rosa logo up in his welding class and now has it in his ceiling in his bedroom.

There were also stories I found more often than others, for example a story I often came upon was, that 'Sub Rosa', under the rose; from the ancient association of the rose with secrecy. The rose's connotation for secrecy dates back to Greek mythology. Aphrodite gave a rose to her son Eros, the god of love; he, in turn, gave it to Harpocrates, the god of silence, to ensure that his mother's indiscretions were kept under wraps.

I also read that in the middle ages a rose suspended from the ceiling of a council chamber pledged all present – those under the rose, that is – to secrecy.
That in secret, privately or confidentially: held the meeting 'sub rosa'.

I did learn a little, but it didn't help me figuring out why it was written on my necklace, it was something secret, or maybe my parents had been in special forces and they had it from there. I really didn't know. And I had no idea how I would ever figure it out.

About fifteen minutes before the others would wake up I went to take a shower. I had been reading for a little over an hour and was about finished with my book. I listed into the bath and turned on the water and as soon as the water hit me I let out a sigh. The warmth from the water made my muscles relax and the water took the last bit of the night mare with it and made me feel like myself again.

When I got out of the shower I found Lizzie and Leo in the kitchen, fighting over who had the cereal first, both pulling in each end of the box. I went over to the dishwasher and pulled three clean bowls out. Then I walked over to the fridge where I took out the milk, then I grabbed three spoons and in the end I grabbed the box with cereal Leo and Lizzie were fighting over. 

"Hey" Leo said running over to me to get it back, but when he saw I was putting it in the three bowls he turned around mumbling something before he sat down on a chair.

"So Leo and I have found an apartment only 15 minutes from here, and we can move in already Thursday two days from now." Lizzie said putting some bread in the oven and taking her bowl and walking over to sit with Leo and I.

"Wow that's fast. It's going to be so weird not living with you anymore."  I was so used to always have Lizzie there, that I couldn't really imagine how it would be to come home to a place where she didn't live.

"Yeah, but on the bright side we don't have to listen to Leo complain about the couch any more." Lizzie laughed trying to lighten the mood. Leo had talked a lot about wanting to sleep in a bed and complained a little from time to time. But I knew he didn't really mean anything with it. He was thankful that he could stay here and he himself had said it was okay to sleep on the sofa instead of some fold out bed.