Rise [Bruno Mars]

Chapter five

Chapter five

The salt blowing off the water and the sound of the waves lapping at the sand breathed a calm paradise. Bruno and I walked in silence. Seagulls circled lazily above, people laid underneath umbrellas very spaced out, enjoying the tangy air and sun.  

Bruno grazed his fingertips against my elbow, signaling to stop. We were near a cliff. The ocean was harsher here, waves slamming themselves against the rocks at the cliff's base. My gaze skipped around nervously, searching for an approaching woman, Bruno's mother. I rehearsed line after line in my head. Hi, how are you? Very nice to finally meet you! It's gorgeous over here.

Bruno stared out into the horizon. How he looked as if he were barely breathing made me think he was carved out of the rock beside us. He was oddly quiet, expression unreadable. I placed my palm on his arm. “You okay?”

“I haven't been here ever since—” he broke off and turned to me, smile sad and small. “I'm surprised I kept this away from you for so long.”

“Kept what away from me?” 

His pained look constricted my chest. He said quietly, “It was a brain aneurysm.”

My eyebrows drew together as I tried to understand, then realization dawned.

“Oh, Bruno,” I breathed out, covering my mouth with my hand. I'd been looking around for his mother, ready to meet her, anxiety stirring in my stomach. But I wouldn't. Not today. Not ever. She wasn't coming. My stomach twisted and tears blurred over my vision. Bruno went through it. The gasping pain of losing someone close to him.  “I'm so sorry.”

He looked out into the horizon again, rolling his lower lip into his mouth. “She went happy. Surrounded by the things and people she loved the most. We threw her ashes out there.” He pointed out into the ocean before crouching down, fingers glided over the sand. I crouched beside him. “She would've loved you.” A crooked smile found its way on his mouth. “She loved artsy things. Loved nature. Like you.” 

He drew in a deep, shaky breath.

“She was brave, determined. She would do anything for those she loved. And knew how to use words to get to you.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“You remind me of her.” Bruno looked over at me, and in that instant of our gazes meeting, I knew we were each other's safe havens. We were each other's rooms where the clock reads 2:14AM and you can't stop thinking and crying and thinking and crying. Bruno and I. . . we could be weak with each other. We could break in front of another. 

And he knew. Bruno let his eyes fall closed. His head tilted down at the sand. He let out a single sob.

I drew him into me, let him bury his head in my bosom. Fingers burrowing his hair, my spine curved as I laid my face on the top of his head. And I held him. Seagulls' cried overhead, a dog barked, someone plucked the strings of a guitar. Bruno and I were silent. In our own precious bubble of security.

After a long moment, “Bruno?”

“Yeah?” His voice muffled by my shirt.

“I'm sorry for not being there for you.” I remembered Bruno once telling me he's been through so much, and even Phil basically informed me of the same thing. This is what they must've been talking about. But I was too blinded by my own suffering to see his. An immense amount of guilt surged over me. “You have no idea. . . I'm just—I'm just so sorry. I want you to know I'm with you now, I love you and I'm here.”