Mad Love (The Script//Danny O'Donoghue fanfic)

Chapter 15

Over the next weeks, Danny and I spent more and more time together, whether it was breakfast, lunch, dinner, a walk, just chilling or an actual date like going to the cinema.  We spent almost every day together. I even joined him at the studio sometimes and watched him, Mark and Glen work and sometimes he just sat on my couch and watched me work in my book. Everything was perfect. I was finally happy. I wished this happiness could last forever.

On a warm August day, a week before the anniversary of my dad's death, Chloe came over because Danny was away in Dublin and I didn't want to join him, but I was sad and lonely. My dad was the only thing that I had a year ago, he was always there for me, my hero. And now he was gone. Nobody has been arrested for his murder. And I wasn't even there. My heart ached to see him, but I knew I never could again, which made my heart ache even more. Chloe tried to be there for me, she really did. But she didn't know what to say or do. She just sat there and watched me cry.

"Ava..." She whispered. I looked up at her. "I'm calling Danny. He can come home a day early. I really can't help you and I hate to see you like this." I wasn't in the mood to argue although I thought it was a terrible idea, so I nodded and curled up in a ball on my bed, crying. I heard Chloe grab her phone and listened to their conversation.  "Hey Danny..." "Yeah everything's fine, no hospital..." "Yeah...her dad" "I really can't help her....no. You need to come home." "Yeah now." "Ok thank you" "Oh can you talk to her?" She raised an eyebrow at me and I shook my head violently, I didn't want him to worry. "No she doesn't want to talk..." "Yes do that! I'll tell her! Thank you.....yeah" Then she hung up. Danny loved you and he'll be here tomorrow morning. Try to get some sleep, I'll spend the night and leave when he gets here. 

I woke up in Danny's arms. What time was it? I didn't even care. I cuddled in closer to Danny. I needed him so much. "Ava..." He whispered. Tears rolling down my cheeks, I looked into his eyes and croaked: "Why Danny? Why?! There has to be a reason..." Sobbing, I buried my face in his chest. "I'm sorry Ava..." He wrapped his arms tighter around me and I whispered: "Who would kill him? Why would someone kill an innocent man?! He was my world...my hero and now he's dead and I-" My voice broke off and I started sobbing again. "I know Ava. It's not fair...It's hard. Very hard, I know that.  And I won't lie, it won't get easier. It's okay to cry, I'm here for you..." For a few minutes I laid there, crying in his arms. "I haven't been to his grave..." I choked. "It's in Chicago... too far away... I couldn't say goodbye" Then I cried myself to sleep again in his arms...

When I woke up again, it was dark outside, but Danny was still in bed with me stroking my hair. "Hey Ava..." He said softly. "How about a walk? To get some fresh air?" I nodded and went to the door. I didn't care what I looked like. I just wanted this horrible pain to end. We walked through our typical park. The fresh air was soothing and it helped me think. "Ava...do you want to go to your dad's grave?" Of course I did. I nodded, a sob shaking my body, causing Danny to pull me closer. "Then we'll go!" he said. Normally I would have argued, but I was tired of being strong. I needed to get to his grave. Even if it meant letting Danny pay for a plane ticket.

Danny and I left for the airport two days later. Tomorrow was the one year anniversary of my dad's death. I sat on the plane and looked out of the window... I was miserable. I felt so numb. I knew where I was going. I didn't know if I was ready. Could I say goodbye...forever? I felt Danny take my hand and squeeze it lightly. "Ava, I'm here." He whispered. I nodded holding back tears as we took off. "Hey Ava look at me." He said, tilting my head towards him to look into my eyes... "If you don't want this we can always do ANYTHING else in Chicago. I won't force you if you'renot ready, but I believe it is for the best." I nodded and looked into his eyes. It calmed me down and I totally got lost in their beauty. I leaned towards him and whispered: "I love you Danny." Before kissing him and leaning my head against his shoulder.

I must've fallen asleep because I was startled awake by the plane landing. I checked my clock. 10pm local time. In 12 hours I would do it. I would finally be able to do what i should've done a long time ago...

Danny and I took a taxi to the hotel. But driving through Chicago completely tore me apart. I spent half of my life here. Old memories, good and bad came up. All I could thinka bout was dad...Dad!! Suddenly it was hard to breathe I felt like I was suffocating.  "Danny!" I cried hysterically, tearing him out of his trance. "Ava...it's ok! I'm here. It's ok to cry." I gripped his hand firmly and kept looking out the window, trying to calm my breathing, tears streaming down my face.

In the hotel, we collapsed onto our bed right away and fell asleep, but nightmares about my dad and time in Chicago kept pulling me out of my sleep and I would wake up sobbing, but somehow Danny slept through all of it. At some point I couldn't stand the pain anymore. "Danny..." I whispered in between sobs. He turned towards me and pulled me into his arms, rocking me back and forth and stroking my hair. Finally I felt safe and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning was hard. At breakfast, I could barely look Danny in the eyes. He knew what was wrong. He didn't speak cause I didn't speak. I was thankful for that. But he always gave me a reassuring smile when I did glance up at him. Before I knew it, it was 10am. Time to go.

Danny pulled me into a tight hug as we walked closer and closer to ky father's grave. I was shaking all over and my heart was shattering with every step I took. As we got closer, I closed my eyes. I felt dizzy and had trouble breathing. "I got you, Ava..." Danny said softly. "We're almost there... Do you want to do this?" I nodded, swallowed hard and whispered: "It's now or never."

Danny led me closer and closer to the grave, my eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down my face. Suddenly Danny stopped. I knew we were there. I could take it anymore, I opened my eyes. There it was, carved in stone. My father's name and the date of his birth...and death. I screamed in pain and dropped to the ground in front of his grave. Sobs piercing through my body. He was dead. No going back. Danny collapsed beside me and pulled me close.

There I sat in Danny's arms and screamed and sobbed and slowly fell apart. But I was saying goodbye. I knew it was for the best. After a long time. Minutes? Or was it hours? I hoarsly whispered: "Thank you Danny..." before buried my face in his chest. After spending the whole day at his grave, Danny and I went to my dad's favourite pizzeria in Chicago. "In memory of him and to say goodbye" I said.

That night, I still felt numb, but different. I had said at leave some goodbye to my father. I was slowly beginning to accept that he was gone, but I knew I'd be ok. Danny woukd always be here and I'd always be happy asong as he was there...