sixteen » like popcorn on a christmas tree

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Telling David I loved him wasn't in my plans for the day, that was for sure. It wasn't uncommon for me to make last minute decisions, but this was something else entirely. I had been in a few relationships in my life, but I had never said I love you (seriously and while sober) to anyone except my blood relatives. Saying it to David was on a different level, but it showed me exactly how I felt about him. If I didn't really love him, the words would've never left my mouth. I knew what I said was true.

David was, for lack of a better word, ecstatic. I had never seen a smile like the one that grew on his face the second the words left my mouth.

"You do?" he responded, eyebrows raised and eyes close to tears. It meant so much to him, which made it mean the world to me.

I nodded and giggled, "Yes, you dope. Don't make me change my mind."

"You can't change your mind," he teased, pointing a finger in my face. "You love me."

I moved forward to bite the tip of his fingers, giggling when he gasped. I responded, "You make me want to take it back."

"Like you would ever."

"You're feeling pretty fucking smug, aren't you?" I raised an eyebrow and he laughed, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah. This is the best I've felt in months," he responded, and then with a careful look, added, "Besides twenty minutes ago. That was pretty good."

"Shut up," I pushed myself off the floor, offering my hand to help him up. "Can you go get the makeup from the living room? Now, I look really bad."

"You look fine, but I'll go get it," he pressed a kiss to my cheek and sauntered out of the room like he hadn't, making me internally freak out. I never met someone so casual with affection, and I wasn't used to it. Especially since David and I had yet to define the relationship. I wasn't some crazy girl who couldn't stand not knowing if we were dating, but it would be nice to have a heads up. Still, I was too nervous to ever ask.

David returned to Todd's room a few seconds later with all of Corinna's stuff in his hands. He dropped the loot onto the bed in a large pile and let me sort through it, even going as far to hold the mirror up for me while I beat my face. It only took me twenty minutes to return to my former glory, but the whole time, David complained, "My arms hurt! I'm bored!"

"You're the one who wanted to hold the mirror," I would giggle every time he whined, which shut him up with a sigh. "Do you want to go out and eat with me, since I'm dressed and I don't know if Corinna and I are going?"

"I have to film something with Jason and Trisha," he told me. I knew it wasn't a lie, but it felt... off. He avoided eye contact when he said it, and the overall vibe in the room got pretty awkward. Luckily, he informed me of his plans right as I was finishing up my mascara, so I skedaddled out of the room as soon as I screwed the tube shut.

Corinna stood upon my entrance to the living room, smiling like nothing happened. If she could get over it, so could I. I didn't really want to be with David at the moment anyways, especially after his awkward rejection.

"Are you ready to take pictures?" she asked and I nodded. She recruited Todd (because what else are boyfriends good for?) as our photographer. We ended up in the backyard for thirty minutes, taking pictures in every single pose known to man, all the while Corinna and I bickered about "good sides" and the fact that we weren't centered. We also took pictures alone, because we were conceited, and finally decided to call it a night once she started pulling my hair for "hogging the camera". There was definitely some tension between us, but we'd get over it eventually.

"Todd, are you coming with us?" I asked once Corinna and I had gone through the hundreds of pictures to pick the best ones. It was a genuine question, but I didn't miss the side eye Corinna shot me the second it left my mouth. Apparently, they weren't as back together as I thought.

"Uh, no, I think I'm filming with David later," Todd answered and I furrowed my brows, shooting a look to Corinna, who didn't understand. "I don't know for sure, but I need some content so."

"With Jason and Trisha?"

"No," Todd looked genuinely confused by my question. "Jason and Trisha are going to a concert tonight with Wyatt and Charley. I think they left while you were in my room."

"Oh," was the only word I could muster, feeling my entire soul deflate at the idea that David had actually lied to me. It wasn't like we were dating, so I couldn't vocalize my anger, but he did tell me he loved me. That had to count for something.

"Yeah," Todd awkwardly replied and left Corinna and I with it. We sat in the backyard for a few more minutes while I explained everything to her. I told her about my confession of love and how we were doing so good and how he lied to me.

"I mean, maybe he just forgot they were leaving," she tried to make it make sense, but it didn't work.

"He refused to make eye contact, Rin. You don't think that's even a little sketchy?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows when she made a face that told me she did, in fact, find it sketchy.

"I do," she finally decided, after a good thirty seconds of deliberation on how to reply. "Do you want me to tell you what I really think, or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?"

I thought for a second. Corinna was pretty good at being brutally honest, and I wasn't sure that I could take that tonight, especially with my emotional state. I could tell I was on my period because I was so much more susceptible to crying and getting angry than usual. Still, I didn't want her to lie to make me feel better. That would just drag out the situation and make it impossible to end.

"What you really think," I finally mumbled, finding it hard to make eye contact with my older sister. It felt like she had everything put together and she knew what she was doing with her life. I was jealous.

"In my opinion, which is just an opinion and may not necessarily be true," she grabbed my shoulders, encouraging me to look at her. "David doesn't want a relationship, especially not now. He posted his breakup video with Liza, like, three weeks ago, and even though they've been broken up for a long time, it doesn't feel that way to his fans. They will be vicious, and I mean vicious, when this... thing comes out. They aren't ready. He doesn't want a relationship, but he will string you along because he does love you and he does want to be with you, just not right now. Does that make sense?"

"But he can't do that!" was my whiny reply. "He can't string me along so he doesn't lose me. He needs to pick me or let me go."

"We don't even know if that's the case, Tillie," Corinna reminded me. It didn't mean much. I understood her point exactly, and deep down, I knew she was right. "Don't stress about it."

I did. I stressed about it throughout dinner until Corinna finally decided I should just post a picture to make him regret ever thinking about leading me on. I thought it was a pretty good idea.

@.matildakopf: tonight im making deals with the devil and i know its gonna get me in trouble

@.username: you made a deal with @.daviddobrik ??

@.matildakopf: @.username never ever in a million years




hiiiii im bored and wrote this. it kinda ends on an odd note but i just wanted to be done so i can sleep lol. have a good night guys!!!! xoxo abby

ps the kylie pic is the pic im imagining for matilda!! she has a kinda similar body type but shes blonde !!! but i saw this pic of kylie in cheetah print and just had to

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