i hate you | xiuchen |

24

"Jongdae, can I tell you something and you'll promise not to hate me after?" Jaejin asked, stepping a little bit closer to me as we both stood on the empty rooftop of the school.

"I don't think that there is anything that you could say to make me hate you, Jae." I smiled while looking into his eyes which avoided mine.

"I hope you are sure about that." He said quietly before he turned towards me. He took my hands in his and stared deeply into my eyes before saying," I like you, Jongdae."

I blinked a few times, frozen. I took my hands away from his grip and stepped back. I was utterly speechless, kind of shocked, and Jaejin knew. He sighed heavily, hanging his head down and rubbing his eyes. Was he crying?!

"J-jaejin, I'm sorry..." I stuttered as I began to cry aswell. Why am I crying?

"I knew this wouldn't go well." He kept his head down, saying sorry before running away. I didn't go after him, I just stood there, staring into the sky as I wondered why this had to happen.

Why do I ruin every good thing that comes to me?

"Jongdae. Wake up."

"No. I don't want to."

"Too bad, your pancakes are going to get cold."

"I don't care."

"The pancakes do."

"Ugh. Fine." I sighed audibly as I sat up from bed, noticing that I wasn't wearing any clothes. I won't even question it.

Jaejin sat at his dining room table with a small plate of pancakes in front of him, staring at it with a depressed aura surrounding him. I raised an eyebrow but didn't bring anything up.

"These are good." I stated kind of awkwardly. He chuckled unenthusiastically.

Jaejin slowly ate his pancakes, not even bothering to put any syrup on them like he usually does, as well as getting seconds. Something's off, but i know Jaejin switches moods quickly, so maybe he will go back to being his happy, goofy normal self. Or maybe today is just an off day for him, which I can understand.

"Jaejin, I'm going home today." I brought up as I finished the last pancake on my plate.

He didn't bat an eye or reply.

"It was nice staying over." I smiled as I set my plate into the sink.

As if his depressing aura was contagious, I found myself wondering what he could be thinking about, accelerating my own depressed thoughts to overcome me. Minseok hasn't talked to me for a couple of days... I'm sure he has reasons. It's best to leave him to himself, right? I'm probably just being annoying.

Yeah, that's it.

Minseok doesn't want to talk because I've annoyed him.

"It's fucking cold outside." I thought to myself as I made my way home hurriedly. I should just skip school tomorrow, I need a break. Instead of going the usual way back to my home, I decided to take the shorter route through the alley, which saves me 5 minutes in the cold.

I didn't think anything of it when I first entered, but as I walked further and further, I became uneasy. The sound of my footsteps was all I heard until the voice of the news anchor appeared in my mind reminding me about the daylight murderer. The hair on the back of my neck stood as my mind began playing tricks with me. My footsteps turned into two pairs, my breathe became heavy. Constantly, I spun around to check behind me, probably looking like a mad man. I began walking increasingly faster, soon I was running. The alley way seemed to never end, it was like I was in a trap. I looked behind myself feverishly one last time before running into something.

"Watch where you're going, dumbass." A man with a cigarette spit at me.

My heart was about to beat out of my chest, but I was finally out and on a main road with a lot of people surrounding. I walked the rest of the way home with a residing fear of what's behind me.

"Jongdae. Go buy me more beer." My drunken dad commanded with a beer in hand.

"I'm not old enough to buy beer." I responded, sliding my shoes off as I had just returned home. I stared at the floor trying to avoid anymore conversation and just trying to get to my room but my dad kept talking.

"Fucking liar. You're lying. Can't you ever do anything right? You're the fucking reason your mom left us, she couldn't put up with your bullshit so she jumped off the roof of her work." My dad harshly grabbed my hair and pulled me down to the ground. He tried to break the bottle in his hand on the wall besides him but it wouldn't break. I tried to make him let go, scratching his arms and pushing him away, but he was stronger than I was.

"FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT." He yelled as he smashed the bottle over my head. I cried out in pain on impact, my vision becoming darker. Still with a hand in my hair, he pushed down on the back of head and hit my face against the floor, over and over, before and after I passed out.