Avengers Imagines

Every Time | Loki

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Word Count: 710

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: It's kind of a downer, not a happy one:/

Authors note: this one is not my best work, I know, but I wanted to try this song one out.
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I've tried to fight our energy
But everytime I think I'm free.....
I go back to you, back to you

Loki was no good for you, and you knew it. Everyone around you knew it, and they didn't refrain from telling you it either. But you didn't listen, you didn't want to, you couldn't. Not when you saw his face, his eyes, staring into yours. It sent chills down your spine every time, no matter how often it happened.

You couldn't help but fall into those eyes, no matter how many times the owner of those eyes had hurt you. One more look and you could forget everything he had said, everything he'd done. Had he actually gotten better after New York? You had no idea, it seemed like it sometimes. It felt like it when you would sit in the library, you reading him a book, his head in your lap, humming softly, eyes closed, as he listened to your voice. It felt like it when he would grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours, and gently pull you somewhere to talk. It felt like it when his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, looked into yours with such softness, and adoration. He had to have changed to care about you so much, right?

But then there were times when you felt like absolutely nothing had changed, where you wondered how he could be the same, sweet, gentle person you knew. There were the days when he cut you out completely, wouldn't let you talk to him, see him, with no explanation. The days where when he talked to you, every word that came out of his mouth was a barbed insult, when the tears that welled in your eyes only fueled his harshness. When you couldn't stand to look in his eyes, those eyes that could calm you down in minutes, being full of more hatred than you were capable of understanding.

Those days were the days when you shut yourself off from everyone, you ignored the calls from Steve and Tony that you knew were just going to be them telling you they were right, and how stupid it was to go back to him. And the ones from Natasha, that were just going to be "I told you so" or "let me beat him up for you". You've already heard everything they've had to say so many times, you didn't need another repeat session.

They keep telling me to let go
But I don't really let go when I say so,

You'd wrap your arms around your knees and cry until you fell asleep, or put on sad songs you knew would only make you feel worse until you couldn't bear to listen to them anymore. When you would allow yourself to act like everything was normal, anyone could tell you weren't yourself. You were distracted, you couldn't focus on anyone or anything. You drifted through missions and paperwork without even realizing what was happening.

I keep giving people blank stares
I'm so different when you're not there,
It's like something out of Shakespeare
Because I'm really not here when you're not there

And then one day he'd change his mind, he'd come knocking on your with those eyes, full of care and concern, and you'd let him in without and second thought. Everyone would shake their head, exasperated, wondering what they could do to help, but you didn't want help, you wanted it to stay like it was. Because somehow he made you forget everything, you could look past just about anything when things were good between the two of you.  The feeling you got when you were with him, when you knew that he wouldn't leave, even though he would, it for you higher than any drug that existed.

He made you feel better than you could have ever imagined, so you didn't care that he wasn't good for you, or that you weren't good for him, you could ignore that for now, as long as he looked at you with those eyes.

They keep calling me a head-case
'Cause I can't make a good case why we can't change.......

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime